Opening Eyes
by maybebaby73
Summary: Jack and Doug- building friendship,finding love. Starts about 18 months before series finale
1. Going Back

Chapter One

The sign welcoming him to Capeside glinted in the early evening sun as Jack drove past. He was back and he was worried .He knew that it was just for the summer, some time to slow down and shake off the stresses of city life, but he wasn't convinced that he would ever be able to unwind here. He didn't want to be the talk of the town anymore and he was too tired to defend himself in the face of other people's ignorance and intolerance.

It had been Pacey who'd suggested that he come back, and kindly invited him to stay at his place. Jack was looking forward to seeing his friend again, but living with him, that was going back in time - it had been over three years since they'd shared the apartment in Boston.

The town itself came into view and it was precisely as Jack remembered it. A few faces looked familiar as he cruised along the busy main street. Was this really such a good idea, he thought to himself, wondering if the Caribbean would have been the more sensible option. Still, he was here now and he just had to make the best of whatever came his way.

* * *

Doug flicked through the TV channels waiting for something to grab his attention. Nothing did. He was spending another evening at Pacey's taking advantage of his brother's culinary talents. It had turned into a regular occurrence and he had to admit, it suited him, even Pacey's company was better than an evening alone with a take-away meal. The kid working in the video store knew him so well that he'd started selecting films that he thought Doug might like. Doug couldn't make up his mind as to whether this was embarrassing or if he was just glad to have someone else make the decision.

It had been a long, frustrating day, some local kids had been seen stealing and despite a chase they'd got away. Doug knew who they were, he just couldn't catch them. He leant back in his chair letting his eyes close as fatigue took over.

* * *

Jack knocked on the solid front door and waited, wondering if he should have called to let Pacey know what time he was arriving. As the door opened Jack was pulled into the most enthusiastic and exuberant hug he'd had in a very long while.

"It's so good to see you Jack" Pacey released his grip and stood back grinning at his friend. "Come in, can I get you a beer?"

"You may, but don't stop at one, it's been a long drive" Jack closed the door behind him and followed his friend into the living room

"You remember my brother, don't you Jack" Pacey looked back over his shoulder as he spoke "He's here for dinner- I'm the only date he can get"

Doug threw his brother a chastising look and rose from his seat trying force the tiredness from his body. "It's very nice to see you again Jack. You'll have to excuse my juvenile brother he thinks he's being smart" A warm smile graced Doug's features as he continued, "what he doesn't realise is that we've heard it all before and it wasn't funny then either"

"Your harsh words wound me Dougie" Pacey retorted, with a huge grin and a hand on his heart in simulated pain. He handed them the two beer bottles he'd brought from the kitchen. "Drink my friends but think of me while I strive for culinary perfection, for you deserve no less"

"Just get back in that kitchen little brother. I'm starving." said Doug, laughing as Pacey retreated in feigned surrender.

Jack relaxed in his chair enjoying the light-hearted banter. Some things never change, he thought to himself. He glanced across at Doug curiously, he'd never had much to do with this man, he'd always just thought of him as Pacey's older brother, uptight and defined by his job. Jack was surprised to see how happy and relaxed Doug looked,was there more to Officer Witter than met the eye, he wondered. Jack hadn't realised he was staring until Doug's head turned and a pair of clear blue eyes looked straight back at him.

"So how's the teaching working out for you Jack" Doug inquired, slightly unnerved by the way Jack had been looking at him. "Do they have to call you Mr McPhee?"

Jack smiled at the question, he'd hated that at first, it always felt as if he should be looking around for his father. "Yes they do, unfortunately, but in spite of that, it's wonderful, very rewarding. I get to put something back, help the kids to find their way. You must get the same sort of feeling, having been a cop all these years"

"On a good day. If I can see past the mountain of paperwork that I constantly have on my desk"

"Tell me about it" Jack responded, grinning." It's the one part of my job that gets me down"

"You're looking good on it anyway Jack"

"Thanks." Jack was pleased at how easy he found Doug to talk to, but something in those eyes disturbed him, all he had seen when Doug looked at him was intense sadness and it stayed there no matter how wide the smile became. If the eyes are the windows to the soul, Jack thought to himself, there was something troubling Doug intensely. Jack's mind began to wander as he thought about what could possibly make someone so unhappy.

"Jack"

"What?" the sound of Doug voice penetrated Jack's thoughts

"Are you ok; you looked miles away"

"I'm fine Doug, just tired I guess." It was a convenient excuse and much better than the truth "I'm back with you now." He threw Doug a friendly smile "Give me the hot news of Capeside"

Doug smiled, "That won't take long"

"There must be something, has Pacey not been getting the grapevine going recently?"

Doug was just about to answer when Pacey leaned his head around the door "Did I heard my name being mentioned. Don't believe anything he says Jack.How are you two getting along ?"

"We're fine" Doug answered defensively, sensing that there was more to come. He was right.

"You know Doug, you should get out more, talk to nice people like Jack here - you might even get youself a date, if you're lucky"

"Shut up Pacey" Doug spat the words out in undisguised fury

"Relax, I didn't mean you should get a date with Jack, you're not his type anyway" Pacey winked at Jack conspiratorially.

Jack, feeling extremely uncomfortable, said nothing. He looked across the room and saw Doug rising from his chair, his eyes burning with anger

"What the hell makes you think you have the right to talk to me like that" Doug growled furiously at his brother. "I will not be ridiculed and laughed at by you, how I choose to spend my time is my own business, would you like me to start dissecting your life, analysing every second of it?" Pacey shook his head as Doug continued "I didn't think so. Sort yourself out first, and then you can start on me"

"I'm sorry" Pacey muttered, in shock at the ferocity and suddenness of Doug's attack on him. "I didn't mean anything, it was just a joke. It's what we do"

"No Pacey, it's what _you _do" Doug replied, letting out a weary sigh. The anger had gone as fast as it had arrived and now he just wanted to get out. He picked up his keys from the table and began making his way across the room. "Goodbye Jack, sorry to have spoiled your evening "

"Don't apologise, it's not all your fault, I'll see you around the place" Jack shook the hand he'd been offered. "Take it easy Doug"

Jack was pleased to see a slight nod of the head and a tired smile in response to his words. Maybe he could be a friend to this man, he had a feeling Doug could use one. The door closed gently as Doug left, without saying another word to his brother.

"Why do you do it Pace?"

"Do what?" Pacey replied innocently, bringing the food from the kitchen.

"Tease him like that,"

"I don't know, habit. Like I said, I was just kidding, Doug knows that"

"He didn't seem to find it too amusing this time" Jack said seriously

"That's his problem isn't it. Come eat and tell me all about Jen and Grams"

Jack knew this was his cue to stop talking about Doug. He was intrigued by Doug's comments about Pacey's life but now definitely wasn't the time to ask and Jack wasn't sure if Pacey would have told him the truth anyway.

* * *

Doug sat uncomfortably on Pacey's doorstep hating himself for the way he'd just reacted. He knew he shouldn't let Pacey get under his skin like that, and to have behaved in that way with someone else there, Doug was mortified. As he thought about everything that had happened he could feel the tears beginning to form in the corners of his eyes. They were tears of anger, embarrassment and the intense frustration that had been building up inside him for a while now and Doug longed to be able to let them out.

The sound of footsteps on the street jolted him back to reality, this wasn't the time or the place, and how he was feeling was not this town's business. He rose to his feet, wiped the dampness from his face and, back in control of himself, began his journey home.


	2. Mending Fences

Chapter Two

The warm ,early morning breeze blew gently in Doug's face as he took his habitual run along the beach. He'd seen the solitary figure sitting, staring out across the water, only now, as he got nearer, did he realise that it was Jack. Doug stopped to catch his breath and gather his thoughts. It had been almost a week since the incident at Pacey's and Doug had been avoiding his brother and Jack since then. He looked around, there was no-one to see him just turn round and go back the way he'd come. Doug had only one problem with that plan; he actually missed his brother's company these days. He took a deep breath, began running again, and told himself to stop being so stupid.

* * *

Jack had been lazing on the beach for a while, enjoying the stillness. He enjoyed how Capeside took it's time to get going in the morning; New York was always awake, always busy. He lay back enjoying the feeling as the morning sun warmed his face. It had been an odd few days, everything looked the same and yet it was all slightly different. Maybe it was because there was just Pacey left from the old group, although Jack hadn't seen much of him the last week. He certainly didn't feel like the local freak show anymore, which was good, but whether that was Capeside, or Jack himself, that had changed he didn't really know, and as a cloud drifted slowly across the sun, Jack really didn't care; it just felt good to be back.

* * *

Doug stood silent and still for a second, before he spoke. "Jack" 

"Huh" it was more of a grunt than a word

"Jack" Doug tried again, speaking slightly louder

"Huh"

Subtlety was not going to work here, so using his most authoritative voice, the one he saved for errant students caught out of school, Doug spoke loudly and clearly "Mr McPhee, may I talk to you for a moment, if you have the time"

Jack sat bolt upright, blinking his eyes painfully as the sunlight forced its way in. He looked up at Doug, sighing with relief as he observed the T-shirt and jogging pants, rather than a police uniform. "That's one hell of a way to get a person's attention; do you often go around scaring people to death?"

"All the time" Doug replied grinning broadly, his arms folded loosely across his chest.

"Well next time just use a bucket of cold water would you, it'll be less of a shock" Jack was trying his best to look offended but he had the feeling it wasn't working.

"Sorry Jack. I don't usually carry a bucket with me while taking a run, but I'll bear your request in mind."

"Good point" he replied laughing gently. "Now sit down while I recover will you- I might need you to go for medical assistance if my heart doesn't slow down soon" Jack gestured towards the sand next to him.

Doug lowered himself, laughing as he watched Jack trying to find the pulse point in his wrist. "Are you still alive?"

"I think so. Although you may have taken a year off my life" Jack smiled in Doug's direction as he lay back down on the sand. "I may have to report you for shortening my life expectancy"

"Is that a criminal offence now?"

"I grant you it may be difficult to prove in court, but I could go for a lesser charge."

"Such as?"

"Oh let's see" Jack paused to think. "I know, deliberate disturbance of personal contemplation"

"You were asleep Jack, on the beach."

"It was subconscious meditation" Jack was trying his best to stop a smirk appearing on his lips

"Most of us call that dreaming." Doug retorted laughing as he spoke; he was enjoying the friendly banter immensely. "And we don't usually do it on the beach"

"You're just jealous, how is the world of the working man?"

"Busy" The relaxed expression had gone from Doug's face. "And you're right I do envy you. I'd swap my office for out here any time. You don't know how lucky you are Jack"

"You ok Doug" The wistful tone of Doug's words had made Jack open his eyes, he looked at the older man curiously, watching him stare pensively into space

"I'm fine" Doug flashed Jack a smile he hoped was convincing.

Although it was for barely a second, as Doug had glanced at him, Jack had seen that look of sadness back in Doug's eyes and it bothered him intensely. Pushing himself to an upright position he tried again "Are you sure, you don't seem very happy"

"I told you I'm fine" Doug's defences were up again. "How can you judge my state of mind in the two minutes we've been talking?"

"Doug, I'm not judging you and it's not just now, I sensed something that night at Pacey's as well"

Doug looked up, poised to tell Jack that he didn't want to talk about it, but something in Jack's eyes made him stop. He dropped his head again, watching the sand fall as he let it run slowly through his fingers.

"Have you been avoiding me since then?" Jack continued, his curiosity aroused

A slight redness crept across Doug's cheeks as his anger dissipated and turned into embarrassment "It's nothing personal Jack, I just didn't want to have to try to explain my behaviour, it was appalling."

"You just over-reacted, we all do sometimes, don't beat yourself up about it. I do understand how infuriating Pacey can be Doug. He doesn't mean any harm"

Doug shifted uncomfortably on the sand. "I know, but sometimes he touches a nerve without realising it"

"This isn't about him saying that you're gay, is it?" Jack wasn't sure how but he knew it was something else

"No, it's not that, I got used to that years ago, it doesn't bother me now Jack"

"Good. Nobody ever took any notice of him anyway. So what is it that is making you so unhappy Doug?"

Doug lifted his head and stared directly into Jack's inquiring eyes. "I don't mean to be rude Jack but why do you care?"

"I......" Jack was unnerved by Doug's directness and the blue eyes glaring at him. "Don't hold back Doug, get straight to the point" Jack's tone was inappropriately jovial, he was playing for time.

"You still haven't answered me" Doug was extremely serious by now.

"Ok. I care what's up with you because I like you and I'd like to be your friend which, whilst were being honest, you appear to have a shortage of, but if you don't want to talk to me, that's fine, just say so." Jack hadn't meant to sound annoyed but it angered him that Doug appeared to regard him as an intrusion into his life.

As Jack was speaking the tension in Doug's face disappeared and was replaced by a look of tiredness.

"I'm sorry" Doug paused trying to find the right words "I wasn't trying to insult you; I'm just not very good at this caring, sharing stuff. I like to keep my life private"

"I'm not after you deepest, darkest thoughts and fears Doug. I was just hoping to cheer you up"

"Sorry"

Jack smiled. "Stop apologising and just tell me what's up, if you want to"

Doug wasn't sure if he did want to, but he knew, if only for himself, that he had to try to explain his behaviour of the previous week. "I'm not excusing myself Jack but it hurts when someone exposes something that you're trying to hide from and that's what Pacey did"

Jack was intrigued. "What exactly are you hiding from?"

"From the reality of my life. Pacey said that I had nowhere better to be, remember? He was right. I guess you'd call it loneliness"

"That explains then ,Doug, but what was it that was bothering you two minutes ago?

"You don't give up do you? Doug was almost smiling as he glanced in Jack's direction.

"Give me a chance Doug; I might be able to help"

A short pause followed, during which Doug shifted his position slightly to face Jack. He took a deep breath "Do you ever feel like there's something missing?"

"In what sense?"

"In your life. Somewhere you haven't been or something you haven't done"

"We all feel like that sometimes Doug, do you think you're missing out somehow?"

"Maybe, I've lived all my life in Capeside and I do the same job that my father did. Life just feels predictable"

"Well ,change something then"

"I wouldn't know where to start" Doug's face registered shock at the mere thought of turning his life upside down.

"You'll figure it out, things can always change, there's plenty of time. You've just got to relax; life can't be controlled all the time, it has its own way of surprising us"

"You really believe that Jack?"

"Absolutely" Jack jumped easily to his feet and stretched out a hand to help Doug up. "Now come and get some breakfast with me before we get too serious, it's way too early in the morning for that"

Doug gratefully accepted the assisstance, brushed the sand from his clothes and strolled comfortably along the beach beside Jack.

"Feeling better?"

"Yes. Thanks Jack"

"You're welcome"

"Let me know if there's anything I can do to repay the favour "

"I do have this speeding ticket..." Jack laughed at the dirty look Doug threw in his direction "...but I guess I'd settle for you buying breakfast"

"It would be my pleasure Jack"

They walked in silence for several minutes until Jack broke in "About that speeding ticket, are you sure you can't help"

Doug laughed out loud; feeling more relaxed than he had in a very long time.


	3. The Quick Goodbye

Chapter Three

Jack wandered aimlessly along, his pace was slow but his thoughts were a hundred times faster ,filling his head. Somebody bumped into him knocking him slightly off balance but it didn't really register. A hand landed heavily on his shoulder, Jack turned quickly to find Pacey looking at him, concerned.

"What is it with the Witter family, they're always trying to frighten the living daylights out of me" Jack was fighting hard to bring himself back to the here and now.

Pacey looked confused "Lost me on that one Jack. Are you ok?, I was yelling at you from across the street. Mrs Harrington thinks I've gone crazy" Pacey waved and smiled at a white haired lady on the opposite side of the street.

"I don't think she credited you with much sense to start with Pace"

"She may be right. Seriously though what's up? You looked like you were on another planet. Boy trouble?"

Jack smiled "In a strange sort of way. I just got a call from Matt Freeman"

"Lost me again Jack, should I remember the name?"

"Boston, Professor, slightly confused about his sexuality. Ringing any bells?"

"Loud and clear. What did he want?, or shouldn't I ask" Pacey mischievously raised an eyebrow.

"Get your mind out of the gutter for just a second, he was offering me a job?

"You're kidding. How did he find you?"

"Didn't ask, it didn't even occur to me. I was too stunned to string a word together let alone a question"

Pacey looked at his friend, he still looked slightly bewildered. He motioned to a low wall behind them "Sit down Jack, take a deep breath and tell me what you do know"

Jack followed the instructions, exhaling slowly. "It's just for three months, the English teacher in a school in Boston got hurt, climbing in the Alps or something- he's got both legs in plaster."

"Guess that's what you call a lucky break, for you I mean, not him of course"

"It's not funny Pace"

"Yes it is, and you know it. The guy fell off a mountain "

Jack tried hard to suppress his laughter "As I was saying, it's for three months and they want me to start right now"

"Money?"

"It's good, great in fact"

"Jack, correct me if I'm wrong but you don't seem to be filled with enthusiasm about this"

"You're not wrong, I don't know if I'm going to take it"

"Is it a good opportunity,?"

"Absolutely"

"Then I don't get it. It's a great job, in a city you know and like, with plenty of money. What is there to stop you from saying yes?"

Jack sighed "I'm just not sure I want to deal with the ghosts that this would bring up"

"Are we talking about the in and out Professor here?

Jack nodded

"Did he happen to mention his position relative to the closet"

Jack smiled at Pacey's creative use of words "No, why?"

"And does it matter to you whether he's straight or gay?

"No, I wouldn't go there again" Jack's tone was resolute

Pacey smiled "Then there are no ghosts. It's just a bad memory, Jack, a life experience. Take the chance you've been given, make the most of it and don't give this guy a second thought. Certainly don't build him up into something that affects your decisions"

Jack looked amazed. "When did Pacey Witter get so wise"

"When he came back to Capeside and had to face a few things. I had a few real ghosts to lay to rest. Memories that won't go away, even now."

"Joey?"

"Joey" Pacey smiled regretfully. "And others. You're not the only one who's kissed his teacher don't forget"

Jack laughed out loud "You went slightly further than me down that road"

"Mine didn't have a wife to go back to"

"Good point, that did rather put a stop to things. What did I see in him"

"How did he look?"

"Gorgeous"

"You have your answer McPhee. You're a sucker for a pretty face"

"Takes one to know one Witter"

Pacey held up his hands in surrender "Enough with the compliments. Are you going to take the job, or not?

Jack hesitated for a moment "Yes…yes I am"

Pacey threw his arm around Jack's shoulder "You've made the right decision my friend, when do you have to leave?"

"This afternoon" Jack looked slightly panicky

Pacey smiled as he saw the expression on Jack's face change "Calm down, first come and get a coffee and then I'll help you pack"

"Coffee yes. You packing, I've seen you in action, I'll do it myself" Jack rose to his feet and began to walk away.

"Some people are so ungrateful, you give them excellent advice and in return they insult you and reject a most sincere offer of help" Pacey put on his best offended look as he caught Jack up.

"Pace"

"Yeh"

"Shut up"

"OK"

With that they walked in silence, turning once to grin at each other.

Jack leant on his car horn as he slowed by the side of the walking figure.

"What the ………" Doug's words trailed away as he realised who the driver was. "Were you trying to attract my attention, by any chance, Jack"

"You noticed."

"I heard a faint noise from somewhere" Doug smiled warmly at Jack as he spoke "What can I do for you"

"I just wanted to say goodbye, I'm off to Boston"

Doug broke the eye contact he'd had with Jack and his eyes drifted to the suitcase on the back seat of the car. "Boston? Why?"

"Job offer. Pacey can fill you in on the details"

"Short notice isn't it?"

Jack didn't understand the look on Doug's face, it could only be described as disappointment.

"Things have happened a bit quick, but some things are too good to miss" Jack was beginning to feel uncomfortable, he felt as if Doug had shut down on him. "I'll be back though, you don't get rid of me that easily." No response. This was hard work Jack thought to himself. "Doug?"

Doug forced himself to refocus on Jack. "Sorry, what did you say?"

"I said I'll be back soon"

"I'll look forward to that Jack, I'll buy you a beer"

"I'll hold you to that. Take it easy, and take good care of that brother of yours for me" Jack restarted his engine.

"I'll try. Drive safe"

"Yes Officer Witter sir. Bye Doug" Jack pressed his foot to the gas and roared off, a waving hand raised above his head.

Doug watched the car disappear into the distance, standing there until it was barely a speck on the horizon. A strange sensation had run through him when he was talking to Jack. It had felt like a door slamming shut right in his face. He turned and walked back towards town, back home. Wherever Doug had been going was long forgotten.


	4. Directions

Chapter Four

Jack closed his eyes and leaned gently back in his chair. He'd been back in Boston for just over a week and although the job was all he could want, he didn't yet feel entirely settled in the city. As his thoughts wandered, in the all too rare peace and quiet, Jack found himself longing to be back on the beach, soaking up the sun. A smile spread across his face as something occurred to him. If someone had told him, even six months ago, that he'd be wishing himself back in Capeside, he'd have probably laughed in their face. Now however, as he waited in the empty classroom, Jack was indeed thinking of Capeside, and it felt good. Something about that place must have changed, he just couldn't put his finger on it right now. The sound of approaching, teenage voices brought Jack swiftly back to reality. He opened his eyes quickly and watched his students as they shuffled into their seats, scrabbling noisily to retrieve books, pens and other essentials. Right now, Jack thought to himself, this was a great place to be. The beach could wait.

* * *

Doug raised his hand in the air, signalling to his brother on the opposite side of the street. He watched as Pacey dodged a path between the cars.

"Am I late?" Pacey glanced casually at his watch

Doug smiled "No more than usual- one day you'll surprise me."

Pacey laughed "Don't count on it! So what movie are we seeing and more importantly who's paying?"

"I thought I would, is that ok with you? Doug's tone was deliberately sarcastic. "I may regret this but the choice of film is yours - romantic comedy, French drama or action adventure."

Does that last option mean mindless violence and car chases?" Pacey's eyes lit up.

"I think that's highly likely Pace"

"Then that's the one for me. What about you?"

"I was considering the comedy- I fancy something light, undemanding. It would be good to laugh, don't you think?"

Pacey shot his brother a surprised look "You are kidding, I hope."

Doug managed to keep his facial expression serious "No, is that a problem?"

Pacey looked at his brother "I'm seriously hoping that you are just trying to mess with me, but in case you actually mean it, let me tell you two things. Firstly, if you insist on watching a chick flick this evening then you are on your own and secondly, have you given the slightest thought to just how much ammunition I would gain from you watching a movie like that. I'm thinking at least six months worth, maybe nine!"

Doug cracked a smile "Very good points" He pretended to think for a couple of seconds "Mindless violence it is then"

Pacey threw an arm around his brother's shoulders "Good decision Doug, you know it makes sense"

* * *

It was the end of the day at last, Jack yawned lazily as he began to gather up all his various books and papers.

"Are you on your way home"

Jack hadn't heard anyone come into the room and looked up in surprise "What are you doing here?"

Matt Freeman grinned "It's very nice to see you too Jack"

"I'm sorry, I thought you were in Chicago"

"I was, got back this morning and as I wasn't around when you arrived I thought I'd better see how things were going. Didn't want you thinking I'd abandoned you"

Jack smiled "The thought never occurred to me but thanks for coming. It's going well, I think"

"I'm pleased to hear that ,I know I dropped you in at the deep end here."

"It's been fun, I probably needed the challenge"

"Glad to help. Now have you got any plans for this evening?"

Jack was taken aback by the question and just about managed to mutter that he didn't

If Matt had noticed Jack's surprise he didn't let it show in any way "You do now. I'm taking you to dinner at this great place I know. You do eat Mexican I hope?"

Jack nodded

Great! Let's go. I'm starving." Matt began to make his way out of the classroom

Bemused Jack followed him wondering what had just happened. He'd managed to agree to go on a date without uttering a word. Just go with the flow he told himself, it was one meal, what could possibly happen.

* * *

Pacey stretched his arms wide as he emerged from the cinema into the evening darkness. "That was fun"

"It's one way to waste a coupe of hours I guess" Doug's tone was depressed

Pacey rolled his eyes "Lighten up Doug please, just for the one evening."

Doug put his hand on Pacey's shoulder "You are getting way too easy to wind up."

"Ok you got me, this time, but you must accept that you're way too serious most of the time."

"If you mean that I have a more grown-up approach to life, then I agree but just don't make assumptions about me Pacey. I'm not completely predictable"

Pacey laughed "Doug, you are as predictable and organized as anyone can be. I can set my watch by when you retrieve your mail every morning, by the way, please be gentle on that postman if he ever dares to be late!"

Doug glared at his brother "One day I'll surprise you Pacey that's a promise"

"I look forward to it" Pacey paused and looked at Doug, he had a strange look on his face "Are you ok?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I don't know you just look a bit weird"

"Thanks! I was thinking Pace, not a concept you're particularly acquainted with but I do it sometimes"

"There's no need to get defensive." Pacey smiled gently at his brother "What's on your mind"

"Are you really asking or just trying to find a way to attack me" Doug was suspicious

"That thing you said about making assumptions- it works both ways. If you want to talk then I'm here"

"I'm sorry. It's nothing major I'm just trying to adjust a few things in my life"

They'd been walking slowly as they talked and had come to a low wall. Pacey sat down. "So, what needs changing?"

Doug still standing up smiled at his brother "Everything"

"That's the quick answer, what's the truth"

"Where did you pick up the psychology." Doug was trying to be flippant but something in Pacey's face made him tell the truth "I have nothing in my life but my job and it's been that way for too long. It's not making me happy, I'm not sure if it ever has. I've been kidding myself for so long and I'm just hoping it's not too late to turn things around. I need to have more fun"

There was silence as Pacey just stared at Doug

"Have I done the impossible and rendered Pacey Witter mute"

Pacey grinned "That was quite a speech. I'm just absorbing it. What has brought this turnaround on?"

"It was something Jack said to me while he was here, got me thinking about a few things."

"That boy must be smarter than he looks."

"Have you heard from Jack since he left?" Doug hoped the question sounded casual

"Last week sometime, Thursday I think, he didn't say much except that he loves the job"

"Say hello from me next time if you remember"

"Will do. Now lets eat" Pacey got up from his seat

"I take it that I'm paying for dinner as well"

"How did you guess, I fancy Chinese"

Doug laughed "Fine with me, is there any way to get you to pay your share. Maybe I'll give Jack a call- he might know"

"You can try but it won't help, I hardly ever paid for anything in Boston"

"Even when you were earning a fortune?"

Pacey looked sheepish "What can I say, people feel an overwhelming urge to spend their money on me"

"You should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself" Doug glanced across at his brother "but I guess I know you better than that." Doug sighed wearily "Let's go find some food"

"I'll get myself together one of these days Doug, I just don't have a plan right now but I'll find one"

"I hope you do, but Pace.."

"What"

Doug grinned happily "I won't be holding my breath!"

* * *

Jack shivered momentarily as he came out of the restaurant, the temperature had dropped while they'd been eating.

"Are you cold Jack? We could find a cab"

"I'm fine, as long as we keep walking" Jack pushed his hands into his jacket pockets as they started of at a brisk pace. It was a couple of minutes before either of them spoke. Jack broke the ice "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, anything"

"What made you think of me for the job and how did you track me down"

"I have friends in high places. I'm kidding! We have a mutual acquaintance"

Jack looked surprised "Really! Who?"

"Annie Wheeler, New York ,short dark hair, blue eyes, obsession with the Yankees..."

"...teaches history." Jack remembered her well, she'd helped him a lot in his first job after graduating. "How do you know her?"

"We went to college together, I speak to her every couple of weeks"

"Was she singing my praises?

"No" Matt grinned at the faked disappointment on Jack's face. "I'm sorry Jack! I was complaining to her about having to replace English teachers who couldn't hang on to mountains and your name came up. She had your cell phone number luckily, and the rest you know"

"I'm flattered that you took the chance on me"

"Did I mention just how desperate I was!"

"I'm serious, you had no idea what kind of teacher I was"

"Annie said you were good, I trust her judgement, and you were a good student Jack you've obviously carried that through to teaching, no thanks to me I did my best to mess up your education. Sorry about that.""

Jack had been waiting for the past to rear its head "It's all water under the bridge Matt" They stopped as they reached a corner.

"I know but I never apologised then, so I'm doing it now. I was confused about many things when we first met"

Jack smiled "And now?"

"Oh I'm still confused" Matt laughed as he spoke but his eyes were serious" It's just about different things these days"

Jack wasn't quite sure where to take the conversation next, or even if he should continue with it at all. He looked along the quiet city street "I go right here, what about you"

"Left" Matt paused for a second "but I've got some great coffee at home if you've got some time"

Jack looked at his watch "I'm not sure, it's getting late"

"My place is two minutes away. I promise to let you get home in time for plenty of beauty sleep"

"I need it!" the throwaway response gave Jack time to think "Coffee sounds great. Lead on"

They began walking again and after a short while arrived at a large house. Matt searched in his pocket for his keys "This is me"

As the front door was opened Jack peered curiously over Matt's shoulder. "Do you live alone?" this was a loaded question and Jack knew it.

Matt nodded as he turned to close the door behind them "I do now. Seemed my wife wasn't too keen on staying with me"

"Any reason?" Jack was surprised at just how much he wanted to find out about this man.

"I think it was when I told her I was gay, she didn't take it too well. Then when I said that I'd known for years, that was the final straw"

Jack smiled "I'm glad you finally found the strength to accept things. I won't say 'I told you so' that would be mean"

"You'd have every right, but thank you"

Jack acknowledged the gratitude with a quick nod "How are things now?"

"Bearable, we talk when we need to. I'll get the coffee"

Jack looked around, he was in a large but cosy room with big inviting couches "Nice place, how long have you been here" Jack raised his voice to make himself heard in the kitchen.

"About two years, ever since the divorce" Matt entered the room with a pot of steaming coffee and two large mugs.

"Bad time?"

"It wasn't much fun but it was the right thing, in fact I should have done it a lot sooner. I wasn't being fair to either of us"

"You got there in the end"

"I'm glad I did. I'm much happier now than I ever was being straight. If only I'd had the sense to listen to you back then, we might have had some fun Jack"

Jack took the coffee cup Matt passed him, thinking carefully about his response. "Maybe, but I'm not sure it would have been a good idea. A gay relationship between a student and teacher, it would never have worked out. We'd have both ended up getting hurt"

"You're right, I know you are, guess things always happen for a reason" Matt sighed and sat back in his chair. "I am glad that we've had a chance to talk about things, now that we're older and wiser"

"I'm not sure that's true but I've have had a really good time."

"You sound surprised Jack"

"I am. I'd forgotten what good company you can be. It's been a good evening"

"It's not over yet." Matt's eyes twinkled mischievously as he looked intently at Jack. "More coffee?"

Jack's next words escaped from his mouth without a thought of their consequences "Is that all you're offering?"

"That's up to you. All I'll say is that I'm as attracted to you as much as I ever was, maybe more, but there's no pressure, whatever you want is fine by me."

Jack was stunned, his head was filled with too many thoughts, wrapping themselves around each other. He spoke quietly "Pour me some more coffee I'm not ready to go yet"

Jack watched as Matt filled the mug he held out. He didn't know where or when this night would end but one thing was certain, he felt alive and that felt good.


	5. Revelations

CHAPTER FIVE

"How was your flight?" Jen's voice sounded cheerful as it drifted in from the kitchen along with the sound of clattering pots.

"Chaos" Jack smiled as he thought about it "Half of them were way too excited about going home for Thanksgiving and the rest looked like it was the last thing in the world they wanted to be doing."

"And which half do you put yourself in?"

Jack got up from his chair and wandered into the kitchen as he responded "You know that there is nowhere I'd rather be right now than here in New York with you and Grams"

Jen looked at him questioningly "Did anyone else invite you Jack?"

"That's hardly the point. I'd have come here anyway" Jack reached forward to take a piece of the carrot Jen was chopping, just avoiding her chastising hand.

"Wait until dinner! Can I get you a drink?"

"I'd love a beer if you've got one" Jack watched as Jen reached into the fridge and took out a single bottle "Aren't you joining me?"

"Are you kidding! I've got what feels like a twenty course dinner to cook here, my brain needs to function clearly or we will be eating all this at Christmas! "

"No hurry, I ate six packets of peanuts on the plane. Jack snapped the top off the beer bottle. "November would be good though!"

"I should drink that beer if I were you before it ends up over you head" Jen glared at him.

Jack took a long swig from the bottle "Ok I sense you're slightly stressed, and you have a very big knife in your hand, so I'll be the perfect guest from now on. Are you sure alcohol wouldn't help?"

Jen shook her head

"Right lets change the subject! How's Gram's?"

"She's being tough but it's good and bad days. One day at a time is our motto. She's taking a nap right now, building up some strength." Jen's face had grown serious.

Jack reached to take her hand "And how are you doing?"

"Oh, you know me; I always operate best in the eye of the storm"

"What is it this time?"

Jen pulled her hand away and busied herself with the cooking "Later, after we've had dinner"

Jack was worried "Why can't you tell me now?"

"It'll be better after we've eaten" Jen was trying to get herself out of this conversation without alarming Jack "We'll have more time"

Jack scanned her face desperately trying to discover what on earth was going on but there was no clue "Fine, but just tell me that it not about anyone being sick"

"It's nothing like that" Jen realised why he'd been pushing it "We're all perfectly healthy. I'll explain everything I promise"

Jack accepted this, he didn't really have a choice, but his mind still raced with a thousand ideas. He was still distracted when Jen next spoke

"So how's Boston, are you having fun? Made any new friends?"

Jack was looking away and couldn't see the glint in Jen's eyes as she asked the question "Not really, I did meet up with Emma the other day, she's still singing with her band and that guy Joey went out with, I forget his name, I think I saw him"

"Eddie. Anyone else?"

"Eddie! That's the one. No that's it" Only now did Jack lift his head to look at Jen and was surprised to see what could only be described as a smirk spread across her features. "What! Is there something I'm missing here?"

"Not really but I do know who got you your job"

"I'm still lost, what does that have to do with anything?"

Jen laughed, "Give it up Jack, you can't do innocent. How is 'the in and out professor'?"

Jack smiled at the familiar phrase "What's Pacey been telling you?"

"Oh you know Pace, we had a real good talk!" Jen watched as Jack's face acquired a worried expression "I'm kidding. He just filled me in on the details and mentioned that you weren't comfortable about seeing him again. So tell me, how's it going?"

"It's been fine" Jack fiddled with the bottle of beer he still had in his hand

"Seen much of him?" Jen watched Jack as he shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

"We've been out for dinner a couple of times"

"Really" Jen knew there was more to this that Jack wasn't telling her "And what did you have for dessert?"

The question surprised Jack "Sorry?"

Jen was making mischief and loving it "I was just wondering how long dinner lasted and why you're not telling me that you're sleeping with this guy.?" She was following a hunch and hoping she was right "You're not ashamed of what you're doing, are you Jack?"

"No, I'm not" Jack spat out his answer

"Then what's the big secret, I don't care who you see, as long as you're happy, you know that"

Jack sighed heavily and sat on the chair next to him "It's not about who I'm seeing. I'm guessing that Pacey told you that I wasn't going to get involved with Matt, well I did, and it didn't take much persuasion. How weak and pathetic does that make me look"

Jen smiled "Oh Jack, poor sensitive Jack! Don't beat yourself up, everybody is allowed to change their mind. If this guy is the one for you then go for it, don't let the past control you"

Jack reached out to gently touch Jen's hand "Thank you, but it's not that serious just two guys who enjoy each other's company"

"Not your soul mate then?

"No, he's great but it won't last" There was certainty in Jack's voice

"And Matt, he feels the same?"

"Absolutely! Neither of us is looking for a long term commitment, at least not with each other."

Jen was intrigued "You do want to settle down one day then?"

"Of course I do, doesn't everyone? It just won't be with Matt."

Jen checked that all the food was ok and then sat down on the chair next to Jack "If he's not what you want, what exactly is it that you're looking for in a guy Jack?"

Jack hesitated for a brief moment, thinking before he responded "I want it all Jen. I want someone to sleep next to every night and wake up with every morning. I want someone who loves me just the way I am but makes me want to be a better person. I want stability and excitement, passionate love and gentle friendship and the room to be totally honest"

Jen was blown away "Wow, where are you going to find this guy?"

"I have no idea if he even exists but I live with the hope that he may be just around the next corner"

"I admire your optimism, or maybe its delusion! Jen had rose from her seat and returned to her culinary tasks. Where does Matt fit into all of this?"

Jack shrugged his shoulders "I'm not sure, for now he's what I want but somehow I know that it won't last, it will come to a natural end one day."

"Just be careful Jack, things never are as simple and clear cut as they seem, someone always gets hurt"

Jack smiled at her "I promise that if Mr Right comes along then I'll be as careful with everyone's feelings as I can, but I don't think it's going to happen any time soon"

It was two minutes before either of them spoke again. Jack was glancing casually at a newspaper that had been left on the table when Jen, without looking up from what she was doing, said "So he is gay then!

Jack laughed out loud "100!"

* * *

Jack watched Jen as she packed away the left over food. They were alone in the kitchen, Grams was resting in the next room. He was waiting for the right moment and, as the last container was put away he spoke "Are you going to let me in on the big mystery"

Jen took a very deep breath "I'm pregnant."

Jack looked, not sure what to say, scanning Jen's face carefully to make sure she was serious. The kitchen clock ticking repeatedly was the only sound for several seconds.

"Say something Jack, anything. I can't cope with the suspense"

The worried tone in Jen's voice brought Jack back to reality "I am so sorry" He reached and pulled her into a tight hug. As they let go Jack looked deep into her eyes "You're having it?"

Jen nodded silently

"And the father?"

"Long gone, not big on responsibility"

"Does that bother you?"

"No father is better than a bad father, in my opinion"

"What if he comes back one day, you said yourself that things are never simple"

"I'm pretty sure that I've seen the last of him" Jen placed her hand gently on her belly "This won't be the first child he's chosen to ignore"

Jack rolled his eyes "Where do you find these guys?"

Jen sensed, rightly, that this was a rhetorical question. She didn't have an answer if it wasn't.

Jack continued, still slightly stunned "How's Gram's taking the news?"

"She's taking it just fine" Jack turned in surprise, the words had come from behind him. Grams moved slowly to her grandaughter's side "We are both looking forward to a new life in the world. Whatever challenges this baby brings we'll deal with them, with your support I hope"

"Of course" Jack looked shocked that she would even ask "Anything you need, all three of you, I'm here. You know I'd do anything to help"

Jen nodded "Thank you. There is one thing you can do for me right now"

"Already! I can't knit, so don't ask me"

Jen smiled "No knitting required. Will you be my baby's godfather Jack?"

Jack blinked rapidly as he felt the tears spring into his eyes "Are you sure?"

Jen took his hands in hers "There is no-one in this world that I would rather be part of my daughter's life. Just say yes!"

"Yes, yes, yes!" Jack was overwhelmed "Did you just say daughter!"

"Just a feeling I have. Are you up for this Uncle Jack!"

"Bring it on!"


	6. Helping Out

CHAPTER SIX

Jack pushed his hands deeper into his pockets as the icy December wind blew strongly into his face. There were people everywhere, most of them heavily laden with gifts of various shapes and sizes. It was Christmas and Jack was back in Capeside. He stared absent mindedly into the nearest shop window, wondering who it was that bought some of the things he saw. The sound of his cell phone ringing brought Jack back to reality; he took it from his pocket, checked the caller display and rejected the call.

* * *

Doug was getting frustrated, everyone in Capeside seemed to be walking directly in front of him and going as slow as they possibly could, He was almost certain that they were doing it deliberately, just to annoy him. It was cold and he just wanted to get home. As he bumped into yet another body Doug's frustration reached a crescendo. 

"Is it too much to ask that you look where you're going"

"Try taking your own advice!" the words were spat out angrily.

"Do you know who...?" Doug looked at his adversary, he was just about to inform him exactly who he was dealing with "...Jack! What are you doing here?"

"I seem to be greatly annoying a police officer, which I'm guessing isn't the smartest idea in the world" Jack smiled for the first time in several hours "Are you, by any chance, having a bad day Doug?"

"What makes you think that?"

"Oh just the clenched teeth, intense frown and the look in you eyes just now"

"I'm sorry for losing it. As I recall you weren't exactly apologetic"

"My apologies Doug, let's just right today off as one we'd rather both forget"

"Deal! Let's start again. How are you? I didn't know you were coming back."

Jack grimaced as a parcel caught the back of his legs. "I'm good; didn't Pacey tell you I was here?"

Doug shook his head "I've not talked to him recently, it saves wasting the time arguing."

Jack was surprised "He didn't mention anything to me."

"He wouldn't, Pacey likes to make out that it's just me being judgemental and disapproving"

"And are you?"

Doug grinned "Probably, but that's only because I'm right!"

"That's ok then! Jack shifted his position and managed to avoid the swinging package this time. "What exactly is he up to now?"

Doug thought about how to phrase things "Let's just say he's very fond of female company and very unconcerned by their marital status."

Jack rolled his eyes "He'll grow up one day Doug, and then he'll be sensible and boring like you and me!"

"I live in hope Jack. I really do."

Jack was distracted by his phone ringing again, like before he checked the number and rejected the call.

"You didn't have to do that on my account"

"It's fine, it wasn't important" Jack regained his focus. "Can I buy you a cup of coffee Doug, I don't know about you but I'm freezing"

"Sure, I could do with thawing myself out."

They stood at the counter, waiting to order. Jack turned to his companion "Are you sure this is ok? We can get something stronger."

"No, coffee's great, besides it might keep me awake just long enough to get home."

Jack ordered their drinks and they sat down at a nearby table. "Long day Sheriff?"

Doug smiled weakly as he took off his coat, "Very. Do you know how many drunken Santas I've had this week? Jack shook his head. "Five! Is an alcohol problem a must for that job? And please don't get me started on the office party crowd." Doug paused briefly to catch his breath. "How was Boston?"

"I had a great time. The job was amazing, not as surreal and downright crazy as yours seems to be though!"

Doug laughed "Are you going back?"

"I've got no plans right now, job's over so I'm free to go anywhere" Jack's heart sank as he heard the familiar sound of his cell phone ringing. He took it out and, without looking at the display, switched it off completely.

Doug sat quietly for the next few seconds, watching Jack put the phone back into his pocket. "Is everything ok?"

"No, but it will be."

"Can I help?" Doug smiled and thanked the waitress as she put the coffees on the table.

"Thanks for the offer but I'll be fine Doug." Jack took a sip from the hot liquid.

"If you change your mind you know where I am. Ok?"

Jack nodded his head in acknowledgement. "Don't you ever get sick of listening to other peoples problems?"

"Yes."

Jack laughed. "Then I appreciate the offer even more"

* * *

They sat for over an hour talking and drinking before Jack thought to look at his watch. "Is that really the time? I hope I haven't stopped you from doing anything important." 

"Don't worry; this has been better than anything I had planned for this evening. I've enjoyed myself"

They both rose from their seats to put on their coats. "Me too, Doug." Jack looked out of the coffee shop window "I guess it's time to head back out into the madness."

"Maybe they've all given up and gone home by now." As they left the Doug glanced quickly up and down the street. "Maybe not! I didn't know this many people lived in Capeside."

Jack pulled his collar tighter to keep out the cold. "Good luck Doug, I hope you make it"

"You too Jack."

They went their separate ways, both with a smile and a thought that maybe the day hadn't turned out badly after all."

* * *

It was about eight that same evening, Doug was at home trying to decide if he wanted to order Chinese or Italian food tonight, or if he felt like eating at all. He had already opened a bottle of red wine, to help him make the decision, and was on his second glass. He was surprised to hear someone knocking on his front door. He opened it and found Jack, looking very troubled, standing on his doorstep. 

"Hi Doug, sorry to bother you but does that offer still stand, I think that I might need your help."

Doug stood aside to let him in. As he closed the door Doug could feel his curiosity increasing but he was concerned, Jack looked really worried.

"Come in Jack, can I get you a drink?

"Thank you that would be good, nice place you've got here" Jack looked at his surroundings.

Doug poured him a glass of wine. "Thanks I've only been here a couple of months, mortgage is huge but it's worth it for the view. I promise you that there is a great view of the ocean out there."

Jack took a large mouthful of his wine "I believe you; I'll come back in the daylight to check it out"

"You'd be very welcome. Jack, I'm enjoying the small talk but that's not why you're here."

"I am so sorry for landing you with my problems"

"You haven't yet! Just tell me what's going on"

Jack took a deep breath, a slug of his wine and began. "Those phone calls I was getting this afternoon were from a guy called Matt Freeman. We got involved while I was in Boston and, as far as I was concerned, it wasn't serious. When I left Boston I imagined that our relationship would come to a natural end."

"And it didn't?"

"No. He's been calling and emailing me almost constantly since I left. I tried explaining how I feel about things but it doesn't make any difference"

"So now you've taken to ignoring him"

"Is that wrong" Jack was feeling completely lost and doubting every decision he was making.

"Is it working?"

"No, so I guess it wasn't the best idea. When I got home today there was an email saying he thought we should work this thing out face to face"

"Does he know where you are?"

Jack shook his head "I'm not sure, I think I mentioned Capeside occasionally to him, he'll figure it out soon enough"

Doug stood thinking for several seconds. "When he next calls, before he can speak, tell him that what he's doing amounts to harassment and that if he ever contacts you again, in any way, then you will take official steps to stop him. Then hang up."

Jack sat down absorbing all of Doug's instructions, committing them to memory as best he could. "Will that work?"

"Honestly Jack. I have no idea. I don't know this guy. Let's try it this way, see how things go. Ok?"

Jack nodded and slumped back into his chair

Doug watched him, sensing that Jack was already waiting for his phone to ring. "Have you eaten? I was just about to order something. How does Chinese sound?"

"It sounds great; I think that I forgot to eat tonight"

Doug reached for the menu and the phone. "I'll get a selection, we can mix and match"

He placed the order and was pouring a couple more glasses of wine when the sound of Jack's phone penetrated the air. "Is that him?"

Jack nodded silently, answered the call and repeated, word for word, exactly what Doug had instructed him to say.

"Nicely done Jack"

"Thanks for your help"

"It's my pleasure, I'm glad I could be of service."

For a couple of seconds their eyes were locked together, Jack's in gratitude and Doug's in friendship. They both felt uncomfortable and the same moment and looked away.

Doug looked anxiously at the clock. "The food should be here soon"

"Good. I'm starving."

* * *

About an hour later and the low table in front of them was now littered with empty boxes and a couple of wine bottles drained of their contents. 

Jack heaved a huge sigh "I don't think I could eat another mouthful."

I've got another bottle of wine somewhere" As he spoke Doug pushed himself up out of his chair.

"Sit down, I've had enough I think and you're beginning to make me dizzy standing up there"

Doug obeyed the instruction. "How did you get here tonight Jack?"

"I walked"

"Can you walk now?"

"I'm pretty sure that the answer to that question is no."

"So how are you going to get home?"

Jack shrugged his shoulders "No idea"

"Then I suppose you'll just have to stay here then"

Jack turned his head in surprise "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. It's no trouble." Doug rose and held out a hand to help pull Jack to his feet. "Come on, I'll show you the spare room"

* * *

Jack rolled over slowly in the bed, his eyes squinting as he looked around the unfamiliar room. The sound of a distant radio blasting out cheerful music brought him to his senses some more. He got out of bed, put on the few items of clothing that he'd managed to remove before climbing into bed. Jack followed the smell of coffee and found himself in the kitchen. Doug was standing there, dressed in his uniform, hurriedly eating a slice of toast. 

"Morning."

"Good morning Jack, did you sleep ok?"

"Great, thank you again for letting me stay"

"I told you last night, it's not a problem" Doug looked at his watch. "I have to go Jack, I'm sorry to abandon you. Take a shower, have some breakfast. Stay as long as you like, I'm at work all day."

"Thank you. Have a good day."

Doug picked up his keys and made his way out of the house. Once outside he got into his car and then just sat there, for five minutes at least. That had been the first time, since he'd moved out of home, that Doug had had someone else in his house overnight, including his family. He valued his privacy and it had made him slightly uncomfortable to see Jack this morning. Doug turned the ignition key and smiled to himself, life sure took you in strange directions sometimes. What was next, he wondered.


	7. Support

CHAPTER SEVEN

Jack woke on the third ring and stretched to reach the phone, glancing at the clock as he did. It was just past 2 o'clock in the morning.

"Hello" He stifled a yawn as he spoke.

"Jack? Sorry to disturb you, it's Pacey."

"Pace, what's up?" Jack could hear a serious edge to his friend's voice.

"It's Doug. He's in the hospital" Jack sat bolt upright in bed as Pacey continued "He was involved in a chase at work and it seems his car skidded on some ice and he wound up hitting a wall."

Jack was shocked "Is he ok"

"Right now he's still unconscious, they're worried about a head injury and he's got a broken leg which will need pinning when he stabilises"

"Pace are you ok?"

"Not bad. It's just a waiting game at the moment."

"Do you want me to come down there, keep you company for a while?"

"Thanks for the offer Jack, I appreciate it, but most of the Witter clan is here. We'll be fine. I just thought I'd let you know what happened."

"I'm glad you did. Let me know if things change."

"I will. Sorry again for waking you. Bye Jack"

Jack put the receiver down and lay back in his bed, he could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He slept fitfully until six, got up made himself a cup of very strong coffee and had breakfast, dragging the time out as much as possible. As he drove towards the hospital Jack wondered what exactly he would find.

Jack followed the desk clerks directions and turned into a long white corridor, he spotted Pacey from a distance and only when he reached his friend did he realise that he was fast asleep.

"Pace" Jack tapped him gently on the shoulder. "Pacey"

"Jack, what are you doing here? What time is it?" Pacey struggled to an upright position in his chair.

Jack looked as his watch as he sat down "It's just after 8, how is everything?"

"They started reducing his sedation about an hour ago, and said they'd let me know if anything happened. I guess nothing has."

"Are you here on your own?

"We decided to take it in shifts, I got the overnight watch." Pacey smiled gently "I volunteered actually, I wouldn't have slept much anyway."

"Have you eaten anything?"

"Not since last night"

"I'll go and get you something" Jack returned after ten minutes with food and drink for his friend.

"Thanks Jack, you didn't have to come down here so early, don't you have to get to work?"

Jack smiled "It's Saturday. Even I don't make the kids go to school on the weekend!"

"It's been a long night"

They chatted quietly for the next hour until they were interrupted by a nurse. "Mr Witter, your brother is just starting to wake up I thought you might like to be with him."

Jack sat waiting, casually glancing at a golfing magazine he found on a table. After about fifteen minutes Pacey reappeared.

"How's the patient?"

Pacey grinned "He's already complaining about being in the hospital, so I said yes when the doctor asked me if I thought his behaviour was normal"

"So that's an all clear on the brain injury?"

"Absolutely no doubt. They'll take him to have his leg pinned later this evening."

Jack let out a huge sigh "Thank God for that. Is it alright if I just say hello?"

"Sure go for it, I hope he's more pleased to see you than he was me!"

"You didn't get a warm welcome?"

"Apparently it appears to be my fault that he's in a hospital bed despite the fact I wasn't even in the car."

Jack patted Pacey on the shoulder as he headed towards Doug's room "Don't take it personally Pace; I know that not everything bad that happens in this world is caused by you!"

Jack tapped gently on the door and opened it "Doug, it's Jack. Can I come in?"

He heard a faint noise which he took to be a yes. Doug was lying flat in his bed, hooked up to several machines which beeped intermittently.

"Well I've seen you look better" Jack moved nearer to the bed and saw a weak smile on Doug's face.

"You're not setting the best example to the drivers of Capeside Doug. I think you're supposed to stop before you get to the wall!"

"Jack, don't make me laugh, it hurts in some very strange places when I do. And would it hurt you to show some respect and compassion towards me, I nearly died"

Jack sat down in the chair beside the bed "I know, and I am very glad that you're ok. You scared me Doug, please don't do it again"

"I'll try my best; it wasn't much fun for me either. How's Pacey doing, the nurse told me he stayed here all night. I wasn't very nice to him when I came round"

"He's fine, he's got a skin as thick as an elephant's most of the time, but he was really worried about you."

"I know but I don't suppose he'd ever admit that to my face"

Jack laughed "Not a chance!"

They sat talking for the next ten minutes until Pacey stuck his head around the door "Just came to warn you that the rest of the family are on their way" Doug rolled his eyes.

Jack got up from his seat "That's my cue to leave."

"Thanks for coming Jack, I appreciate it" Doug's voice croaked as he spoke.

"You're welcome, good luck with the operation. I'll be back to see you tomorrow"

"You don't have to. Please don't change any of your plans just for me"

"Believe it or not, I have nothing else to do! Bye Doug"

Jack wandered slowly to his car. He was exhausted. Once home, he made it as far as the couch and slept for several hours.

* * *

Over the next two weeks Doug slowly regained some of his strength and grew impatient to get home. Jack visited him almost every day.

It was about eight in the evening when Jack arrived at the hospital "Hi Doug, I brought you another DVD. Pacey chose it."

"I bet it's full of car chases, shootings and dead bodies"

"I think so, but it looks ok to me"

"Then you watch it Jack, leave me out of it"

Jack smiled. Doug had been getting grumpier with each day he'd been a patient.

"Something wrong?" Jack thought to himself that patient was entirely the wrong word when referring to Doug.

"They're letting me go home tomorrow"

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"You would think so but I have the dubious pleasure of having my mother come to stay, to help me."

Jack grinned "Oh! I'm sorry Doug, can't you get out of it"

"No. They won't discharge me to an empty house and she's the only one who can get time off work."

"What can I do to help?"

"Just promise me that you'll come visit me sometimes, it might just keep me sane"

"You have my word"

* * *

Six weeks had passed since Doug had left hospital. He made his way quickly to the door, he'd become quite proficient on his crutches "Hi Jack, come in I'll just get my coat"

Jack closed the door behind him and made his way to the huge picture window that overlooked the water.

"You're addicted to that view. Every time I leave you alone in this room you just end up staring out to sea" Doug laid his hand gently on Jack's shoulder "Come on drag yourself away, you promised me a ride to the hospital"

Jack laughed "Sometimes I think you don't appreciate just how great this house is"

"I do, but right now I'm more interested in getting this cast off my leg, so move it"

Jack sat in the waiting room, he'd looked for something to read but they hadn't changed the magazines since Doug had his accident. He looked up at the sound of a door along the corridor closing. Doug was coming towards him without the crutches and the cast. "Everything went ok then".

"Not really. Can we get out of here please Jack."

They made their way outside and sat down on the nearest bench. "What's up Doug, did the doctor find something wrong?" Jack sounded worried

"No, not really. The leg is fine but they won't let me back to work yet, post concussion syndrome I think they called it"

"Is that all, I thought it was serious"

"What the hell do you mean is that all" Doug spat the words in Jack's direction. "The thought of getting back to my job is the one thing that's kept me going for the past six weeks"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be flippant, it's just that I was worried about you. Is it really that bad?"

"I have no idea how I've lasted all this time with my mother staying, extending the torture does not appeal to me at all"

"Where is she today?"

"She went back to work; I thought I'd be able to use me going back to work as the catalyst to send her home."

"But you're rid of the cast now, won't that be enough?"

"Not a chance, you've met my mother haven't you?"

Jack nodded. He sat and thought for a minute or two "What if I was to offer to stay with you instead"

Doug turned in surprise "I can't ask you to do that Jack"

"You didn't ask, I offered, but that's not the point, would it work?"

"It might, but are you sure it's ok with you, I don't want to put you out"

"Let's see, your place is closer to the school, it's bigger and it has a much better view- I don't think I'm on the losing side of this arrangement." Jack smiled "And I can help you get back the strength in your leg, take you to the gym and go running with you. Do we have a deal Doug?"

Jack held out his hand and Doug shook it warmly "You're on, but I know the truth Jack"

"What do you mean?"

"You're only doing this for my view of the ocean!"

"Busted! Let's get going, we've got to commence Operation Remove Mother"

Doug laughed loudly "If you value your life Jack, don't ever say that to her face"


	8. Harmony

CHAPTER EIGHT

Pacey knocked firmly on the front door of Doug's house. It felt quite strange to be doing so, he'd been there before of course but only briefly and certainly he'd never been invited to dinner as he had tonight.

After a couple of seconds Doug opened the door. Pacey grinned as he took in Doug's attire "Nice apron Dougie!"

"I seem to recall that you wear the same when you're at work, why is it such a joke when I do?"

Pacey shrugged "I really don't know Doug"

"Then why don't you just give up saying things just to get under my skin, at least for tonight anyway. Now get yourself inside, dinner's nearly ready"

Pacey accepted the invite, which felt more like an order, and walked into the kitchen. He found Jack there, at the stove stirring a pan of something. "Are you tonight's slave?"

"You made it! We weren't planning to hold dinner for you!"

"I like to cut it fine; at least I don't end up doing all the work. Guess you can't avoid it when you live here"

Jack laughed "You're kidding! I had to beg to be allowed to cook this pasta- he likes to be in charge of things."

"The phrase control freak has been used in the past..." Pacey could hear Doug in the next room, setting the table. He lowered his voice "...bearing that in mind, how is it, living here?"

"It's been good." Jack raised his head to look at Pacey. "You look like you don't believe me"

"Jack I would never doubt your honesty but I know I couldn't do it, doesn't he drive you absolutely crazy?"

"Not me but I think the feeling is mutual where you're concerned!"

"I'm sure it is. Seriously Jack, how do you manage to get along so well with my brother? He's just so...what's the word...uptight!"

"Give him a break Pace, he's a good guy. You've spent so many years trying to find fault with him that you can't see anything else. Try, you might be surprised."

They stopped talking as Doug came into the kitchen, carrying three wine glasses "These need cleaning- what are you two whispering about?"

"I was just asking Jack if he was managing to live with you and still retain his sanity!"

Jack smiled and rolled his eyes at Pacey "And I was politely informing him that after the traumatic experience that is living with Pacey Witter I can cope with anything!"

Pacey tried to look offended "Hey, I'm the perfect host; there is always beer, food and a huge widescreen TV. What more do you want?"

Jack carried the pan towards the sink to strain the pasta "I concede that when I stayed with you recently it was better than in Boston but Pace you do have some revolting habits!"

Doug retrieved a cloth from a drawer to polish the glasses "Does he still cut his toenails in front of the TV?"

"Oh God yes! And then there's the picking at the feet and the sweaty t-shirts abandoned in various places"

"Does he still do that thing when he's had too much too drink?"

Pacey held his hands up in the air. "Stop. This is not fair; you two are ganging up on me!"

Doug was enjoying himself now "It's only what you've done to me the last twenty years or so. I think it's your turn. It's all done out of love, let's call it constructive criticism"

"You are so right Doug, we're just trying to make Pacey a better person- if that's possible!"

Pacey watched as Jack and Doug mocked him. He couldn't quite understand what was going on, the atmosphere was relaxed and casual. Pacey had often thought that his brother was a difficult person to be friends with but Jack seemed to be managing it somehow.

Pacey suddenly realised that he was being spoken to "Sorry did you say something?"

Doug patted his brother gently on the back "Where did you drift off to? Dinner is ready. Jack can you grab the bread for me please"

* * *

They finished eating and moved to more comfortable seats to finish the wine. Pacey yawned as he relaxed "That was a great meal Doug, thank you"

"I appreciate the compliment, I'm not sure it was on a par with your cooking"

"I didn't say it was!"

Jack laughed and nearly spat out the mouthful of wine he'd just taken "You walked right into that one Doug!"

Pacey grinned "I'm kidding it was very nice. I enjoy having something cooked for me for a change."

Jack looked at his friend "If I'd have told you when you were revelling in making all that money a few years ago that you'd be cooking for a living again one day, what would you have said?"

"I'd have probably told you that you were crazy, especially if you'd told me that we'd both be living and working back in Capeside."

"I know, sometimes I can't believe I'm here!" Jack heard Doug laugh "What's so funny?"

"It's just that I'll never understand why you two are so dismissive of this town, I think it's a great place to live. Why wouldn't you want to come back?"

"Don't you ever wish that you'd tried living somewhere else other than Capeside?"

"No Pacey, I don't"

"I don't understand that, I know Jack and I aren't exactly globetrotters but aren't you curious about other places?"

Doug smiled "There's not a huge magnetic shield trapping me in Capeside Pacey, I've travelled all over America for work and I love going overseas but I've always known that this is where I belong."

Jack was listening intently "I have never felt that way about anywhere I've lived"

"You will Jack, one day." Doug looked at him and smiled gently. "Even my constantly restless brother might settle down somewhere one of these days"

"Thank you _'O Wise One'_" Pacey bowed his head as he spoke.

"You scoff if you like but it happens to everyone eventually. You just need a good enough reason."

Jack stretched in his chair "How did this conversation get so serious? Hasn't anyone got any hot Capeside news?"

After a couple of silent moments Doug spoke "Gale Leery is getting married."

Pacey and Jack both sat up straight in their seats. It was Pacey who got his words out first "Doug how the hell do you know that?"

"An officer of the law never reveals his sources"

"Who else knows? When is it happening? Who's doing the catering?"

"Pacey I'm not the wedding planner!"

"You've disappointed me Sheriff; your information is limited to say the least!"

Jack had sat silently while the brotherly exchange was happening "I can do better"

"This will have to be good, hit me with it then Jack!"

"Jen's pregnant!"

"OK you win with that one! Tell me more. You do have more?"

"The baby's due in a couple of months, she is so certain that it's going to be a girl. I keep telling her that it's 50-50 but she's adamant."

"Who's the father, I know I don't talk to Jen much but I imagine it wasn't planned"

"She won't tell me much, he ran quickly in the opposite direction when he found out but she got some sort of guarantee from him that he'd have no contact with the baby"

"Not the most romantic way to bring a new life into the world. How's she doing?"

"Good, you know Jen she deals with whatever life throws at her and comes out the other side. Grams has been amazing, they'll be OK"

Pacey sat quietly, still in shock "Doug, you don't seem remotely surprised by this news?"

"I've known for a couple of weeks. I was here when she called Jack one day"

Pacey sighed "I still can't believe this, it's such a grown up thing to do, have a kid. When did we get so old Jack?"

Jack smiled. He had had similar feelings "Speak for yourself, I'm in the prime of my life."

"How long for, time goes by and we just don't get anything significant done."

Doug rose to his feet and then pulled Pacey up from his chair "Quit whining, I've got ten years on you!"

"Oh Dougie, I forgot that. I'm sorry"

"It's ok, I can cope with it. Now go home Pacey, you're getting maudlin"

"I know. I blame the wine. Thanks Doug it's been a most illuminating and enlightening evening"

"You're welcome Pacey; by the way everything that you've heard stays between us for now"

"Doug, I know how to keep a secret. I'm not fourteen any more."

"And for that we are all very grateful!"

Pacey just grinned happily at his brother. He decided that this time he'd let Doug have the last word. The door closed gently behind him as Pacey started slowly for home. He had a much better evening than he'd anticipated. Without the sniping and teasing that he usually engaged in Pacey realised, for the first time, he had felt as if he were relating to Doug as an equal. That had to be a good thing- for both of them.


	9. Trust

CHAPTER NINE

Jack shivered slightly and wished he'd worn something warmer. The early spring sunshine he'd seen from inside his kitchen window had been deceiving; there was still a wintry bite to the breeze. He increased his walking speed to cope with the chill. He thought for a second that someone was calling his name. There it was again. He turned around and saw Pacey heading towards him.

"You're in a hurry."

"Jack took a brief look at his watch."I've got a meeting at school and my car is getting a service today. You're out of breath!"

"I don't get as much exercise as I should."

"I hear that you get plenty of exercise- it just doesn't involve going to the gym!"

"What has my brother been saying?"

"It's the talk of the town- no woman is safe!" Jack was confident that this reputation didn't bother Pacey at all. "Doug wouldn't have told me anything, not recently anyway. He's been behaving strangely in the last few days."

Pacey was surprised. When he'd seen Doug and Jack together nothing had seemed amiss. "In what way?"

"He's avoiding spending any time with me."

"Really! Why?"

"I've absolutely no idea. It started last week after the hospital told him that the concussion had gone. I thought we should celebrate but he told me not to make a fuss. We've been like ships in the night since then."

"When does he go back to work?"

"Monday" Jack looked at his watch again. "Sorry Pace, can we walk and talk."

Pacey nodded

"What was I saying? Oh yes, he goes back on Monday, so I'm moving out tomorrow. I'd thought I'd give him the weekend to settle back into his routine again"

"And Doug is Ok with that?"

"Let's say he didn't disagree with me, in fact I barely got a word out of him. He's shut himself down."

"I know how he gets. It's the Witter genes- don't discuss your problems. "

"You're not like that."

"I'm the black sheep of the family, It's one of the reasons Doug can never understand where I'm coming from or vice versa!"

"He's not as bad as he was though. I remember when I first came to Capeside, he was totally unapproachable. That was probably an age and authority issue but in the last few months I've realised that he's a good guy."

"He is. And it has taken me a long time to admit that!" Pacey was amazed that he'd grown to like his brother. "And I agree with you he has changed especially in the last couple of years but when something gets to him you're right, he shuts down. It infuriates me Jack when will he realise that I'm actually on his side."

Jack smiled at his friend "You spent all of your teenage years trying to annoy him. You were determined to put as much emotional distance between you and him as possible. Is it any wonder that Doug doesn't really trust you?"

"I'd just like him to have a bit of faith in me occasionally." until he said the words Pacey hadn't realised just how much his brother's approval meant to him

"I think he does, he knows that you've changed. He just doesn't like to tell you to your face."

Pacey looked in admiration at his friend. "I didn't realise that you knew Doug so well."

"I don't think anyone knows Sheriff Douglas Witter completely -he won't allow it."

At this point in their conversation they reached the gates of Capeside High.

"You're on your own from here Jack!"

"Don't you want to come in? Have a nostalgic tour around the place"

"I swore to myself that I'd enter that building only if it were a matter of life and death. This is not one!"

Jack laughed "Sometimes you are the most ridiculous person I have ever met!" It's just a school."

"To you maybe!"

"I've got to go. I'm late already." Jack walked away then looked back "Talk to Doug, he's not happy"

* * *

Doug entered the restaurant apprehensively. What did Pacey want now? There were just a few people sitting, drinking coffee. One of the waiters pointed him towards the kitchen. 

"Hi. You wanted to see me?"

"I certainly did. Take a seat." Pacey leaned against the counter. He'd decided on the direct approach, catch his brother off guard "I spoke to Jack earlier, he's worried about you. What's going on Doug?"

"There's nothing going on. What exactly did Jack say to you?" Doug was already on the defensive, he didn't like people talking about him behind his back.

"He just said you've been acting strangely in the last few days. I don't know any more than that."

"So you've decided that this is your business have you? Shall I ask you about your life? Which woman is it this week?"

"There's no need to turn it back on me."

Doug knew that this could so easily deteriorate into an argument, he didn't want that. "I'm sorry that wasn't fair. I'll be fine, why do you have to know all the details?"

"Because you're my brother and despite what you think I care. I can tell that you are not happy and that it's not a passing thing. I don't like to see you in pain and I know that if I really needed you then you'd be by my side"

Doug was silent. Pacey had never spoken to him like that before.

"Jack thinks that you don't trust me enough to tell me how you're feeling. Is that true?

"We just don't do that sort of thing Pacey. I patronise you and you insult me in return. That's how our relationship has always worked."

"Maybe it's about time we changed it. Neither of us are kids anymore. Why don't we both grow up?"

The silence that followed Pacey's words was disturbed by someone shouting from the dining area. "Chef?"

Pacey left to see what was going on. Doug said nothing. He had no idea how to respond. Pacey was right but he wasn't going to tell him that. He still didn't react when Pacey returned to the kitchen.

"Sorry about that, slight confusion over the menu. I swear some of these waiters don't know a carrot from a tomato!"

Doug barely heard the explanation; he was thinking "What else did Jack say to you?"

"He thinks you've been avoiding him."

"I have. I didn't like to inflict my bad mood on him."

"Do you have a reason for being so disagreeable" Pacey leant towards Doug "This is where you do that sharing thing"

Doug glared at him "You really are the most insensitive person sometimes. I thought you were going to be grown up.!"

"I'm so sorry, I regressed for a second. I didn't mean it. Please Doug, give me another chance." Pacey was almost begging.

Charm got you a long way in life and Pacey was the perfect example. Doug continued, tentatively "When I had the accident my life was turned totally upside down.Now I don't know if I can get back to where I was before it happened."

"And that's what you want is it, everything put back to how it was two months ago?"

"I don't think it can be and that's what's getting to me"

Pacey thought for a second. "When was the last time you had a major upheaval, something that changed the way you led your life?"

The question surprised Doug and he had to give it a few seconds thought "When I joined the police. Why?"

"That is a long time ago Doug and since then you've had a very settled, carefully controlled life. Everything has been going the way you planned it. Is that a fair assessment?"

Doug nodded his agreement wondering where Pacey was going with this.

"So I would say that you are due some emotional disturbance in your life"

"That's it" Your opinion is that it's about time I had a crisis in my life!"

Pacey smiled at his brother's indignation "Calm down, we all have to reassess how we look at the world every now and again, work out what's really important to us. You've just left it longer than the rest of us!"

"Presuming you're right and I'm not saying you are..."

Pacey interrupted "Of course you're not!"

Doug ignored him "... where do I begin with this reassessment?"

"You look at where you were, visualise where you want to be, and then find the steps that get you from the past to the future."

"That's very profound"

"I have hidden depths! I just don't know how to apply all this knowledge to my own life!"

"I had noticed!" Doug threw in the flippant response but he was astounded by Pacey's awareness and ability to understand others and himself. He had underestimated him.

Pacey looked up as one of the waiters called him again. "I'm sorry Doug, I don't want to leave you hanging but I've really got to get started on the lunch service and sort out this bunch of incompetents. Why don't you meet me back here later, about ten?"

Doug gathered himself together "Thanks Pace. And by the way, you're a different person from the kid that I thought would never amount to anything. You've grown up well little brother"

Pacey was speechless, which was a rarity.

* * *

Pacey looked up at the big clock on the far wall of the restaurant, it was nearly half past ten and he was beginning to give up hope. There were a few people finishing their meals but the kitchen had stopped serving. Someone else could deal with the last few customers. 

"Hi"

Pacey turned around to see his brother standing behind him. "About time too, sit down. I'll get some drinks" Doug obeyed the instruction and sat quietly while he watched Pacey at the bar. As usual his brother found someone to talk to so it was a while before he returned. "Sorry about that, I was having a discussion about the price of onions, that guy's a supplier here"

"How many people do you know in Capeside?"

"Not as many as you. I just meet them under better circumstances"

"That is very true. I guess it is preferable to eat your cooking than be arrested by me!"

"There are some restaurant critics who might disagree with you!"

"How are things going here, you said you were having trouble with the owner?"

Pacey's expression altered to annoyance "He just doesn't understand food Doug, he's a money man. Everything is about price and not quality"

"How bad are things getting?"

"It's under control. The food is still up to my standards but I don't know how long for. I just have to keep my mouth shut for as long as I can."

"What happens when you can't hold back any longer? I know you Pacey, you'll break."

"Then I'll quit my job and open my own restaurant!"

Doug laughed "I don't know where you get your confidence and optimism from but it's admirable"

Several drinks later and after exhausting the traditional topics of work and family, Pacey steered the conversation towards their meeting that morning.

"Did I help at all?"

"Not really, you messed with my head"

Pacey grinned inanely "It's what I do best!"

"I'm serious, you really made me think. I was so scared when I woke up in the hospital after the crash. Everything that I thought I was sure of was is now a confused mess inside my head. At first I blamed my misery on having our mother with me night and day and so when she went home I felt better."

"And you don't anymore?"

"For a while it got better, it's been great having Jack around but in the last few days I've sunk back down again and now I'm sitting here telling you everything. That is the thing that is confusing me the most!"

"Thank you very much! I'm glad you're here too!"

Doug smiled gently "Come on Pacey don't you think this is crazy, unreal? As I said this morning this isn't what we do"

"That's not the point; we just have to work out what's depressing you."

"I'm presuming that you have a theory."

Pacey grinned "You bet!"

"Take the floor little brother."

"You were miserable before the accident as well Doug; you just used your job to cover it up. You are lonely Doug and you probably always have been. For the last few weeks you haven't felt it because Jack has been there. I have never seen you so relaxed as you are with him, you two just clicked somehow and now he's packing his bags and leaving you all alone And you have no idea how to cope with that."

Doug sat silently, a million things spinning around in his mind. Pacey looked at him shocked by the expression he saw "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so brutal."

Doug stood up. "No its Ok you were just saying what you think but I'm sorry, I can't do this any more." He snatched his coat from the back of the chair and left quickly.

"Doug!" Pacey called despairingly at the disappearing form. He'd gone too far. How could he have been so stupid?

Doug walked quickly at first but the chaos in his head slowed him down. How did Pacey know him so well? That scared him. Doug had always thought that he kept his feelings well hidden. Pacey had seen right through him. Could other people do that as well? As he wandered through the dark streets of Capeside Doug came to a decision. He had to tell his brother everything. There was one thing he could still be in control of- his own secrets.


	10. Truth

CHAPTER TEN

Doug switched on his bedside light and squinting through the brightness looked at the clock. It was 3.45. He'd been sleeping fitfully since about midnight and he knew he wouldn't get back to sleep again. He dressed himself and quietly opened his bedroom door desperate not to wake Jack in the adjoining room. Doug looked out onto the beach. The sun was just beginning to infiltrate the night sky. He let himself out of the double doors and, closing them carefully behind him, started walking.

* * *

Pacey stumbled out of bed; the sound of banging had eventually woken him. "Hang on, I'm on my way!" He opened the front door. "Doug! What time is it?"

"About 6 o'clock. Can I come in?"

He stood aside and Doug went quickly in. Pacey shut the door and followed his brother into the living room. He watched as Doug wandered around the room, picking up things and then putting them down again.

"Are you OK?"

"Me? I'm fine. It is alright, me calling on you like this?" Doug sounded distracted and agitated.

"Sure." Pacey's early confusion was now turning to anxiety. "Do you want a coffee because I need one. I wasn't planning to be up this early."

Doug shook his head. "No thanks, I've been walking around since 4, I'm wide awake."

"Why were you up that early?"

"I couldn't sleep."

Pacey waited for something more but Doug just stood saying nothing. "I suppose that's a good enough reason for knocking on my door at dawn!" Still no reaction. This was beginning to get annoying. "Are you going to tell me what are you doing here or do I have to guess?"

Doug was unaware of his brother's frustration. "I need to tell you something."

"You're making me nervous. Can't you at least sit down?" Doug sat himself on the couch; Pacey positioned himself in the chair opposite. "Doug you are seriously scaring me. Please tell me what the hell is going on!"

Doug was now staring intently at the floor "I came to tell you the truth."

"I don't understand. The truth about what?"

"About me." Doug took a deep breath "and Jack"

"Have you two had a fight? I thought we covered this last night, he can't stay with you just because you're lonely."

"You don't understand!"

"Then explain it to me because all this skirting around whatever is going on is driving me crazy!"

Doug moved himself to the edge of his seat "Pacey I'm gay."

For several seconds there was silence. Pacey sat motionless. "Did you just say that you're gay?"

Doug nodded

"And you've just realised this?"

"Of course not. I've known for a long time Pacey."

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Because I didn't want it to be true. I didn't want to be gay."

"And you want it now?"

Doug put his head in his hands. "I don't have a choice."

Pacey's thoughts were rushing through his head at a hundred miles an hour. "How does Jack fit into this?"

Doug could hardly get the words out "I like him, I really like him."

As he saw a tear start to trickle down his brother's cheek Pacey crossed the gap between them and gathered Doug into his arms. They sat welded together as Doug wept uncontrollably.

It was nearly five minutes before Doug extracted himself. "I'm sorry..."

Pacey interrupted "Don't you dare apologise, you've done nothing wrong."

"I have kept this to myself for so long. I thought I had it all under control. I thought I could tell you and keep calm and rational"

"How's that working for you?"

Doug wiped a few lingering tears away. "It's not going too well!"

"I think you're doing a great job. Are you sure you don't want that coffee?" Pacey had stood up and was heading towards the kitchen."

"I will have one. Thank you."

Pacey came back with two mugs and placed them on the low table. "Can I ask you something Doug? You don't have to answer"

"I don't think there's much point in me hiding anything now."

"Is Jack the first man that you've been attracted to?"

Doug laughed quietly "I have eyes Pacey- there are some good looking guys in the world!"

"That's not what I meant!"

"I know. Yes I suppose he is." Doug thought for a second "Does that make me sound tragic? I'm thirty-five years old and I've never had a long term relationship."

"You've had girlfriends; I've seen you go out on dates."

"I don't think I've been on more than three dates with the same woman. Something always got in the way. I guess being gay was a bit of a barrier!"

"Did you sleep with any of them?" Pacey was aware that this was an extremely personal question.

"Yes. Did it feel right? No it didn't. And it's been a long time since it happened."

Pacey was filled with new admiration for his brother. His honesty was astounding. "So you've spent the time since then coming to terms with it and you've coped well". Doug nodded. Then why does it feel different with Jack?"

"I don't know if I can explain it Pacey."

"Try, please. I'd like to understand."

Doug took a deep breath trying to form the right words to say "Up till now it's just been a word, one word -gay. I didn't have to do anything about it. It was a concept, there was no emotional involvement. Jack makes me want to act on my feelings, bring everything to life. You have no idea just how much that terrifies me"

"That makes perfect sense. We've all been there. It is terrifying to realise that you really like someone. So what are you going to do about it?"

Doug took a sip of his drink. "Nothing."

Pacey looked at him. "That's it? Nothing?"

"I can't. It scares me too much."

"Most people feel like that at the beginning of a potential relationship Doug. It's no different whether you're gay or straight."

"In this town it is different. You know it is. Capeside is not ready for a gay sheriff, and if I'm being honest, neither am I."

"And Jack?"

"He isn't a factor in this decision. That's the way I want it to stay. I'm not going to risk the friendship we've built."

"It could be much more if you just told him the truth."

"Pacey just because we're both gay doesn't mean we would get together. Do you want to sleep with every woman you meet?"

"Do you want me to me to answer that?"

Doug smiled "Bad analogy but you get my point."

"So you're going to jump back into that closet and lock the door just because you're scared?"

"That's not fair. I have my reasons for how I choose to live my life and I'd be grateful if you could respect them. Please don't make me sorry I told you"

"I won't. I promise. Why have you told me?"

"Fear! I wanted to get in first. You were so right last night, you read me so well. I thought you might figure it out."

"I was oblivious on this one Doug."

"So when you used to say all those things to me you really had no idea."

"Not a clue. Did you think I knew something?"

"Maybe. I just instinctively denied everything you threw at me."

"Doesn't it get tiring denying who you are? Haven't you ever wanted to just scream the truth at somebody?

"I do want to be me Pacey. One day."

"So tell the world. Be the real Doug Witter."

"I can't." Doug looked directly at his brother. "I told you because I trust you; I don't trust the rest of the world."

"I guess you know what you're doing, it's not what I'd do but I'll follow your lead on this one Doug."

"Thank you."

They both sat, not saying a word for several minutes.

Pacey suddenly grinned at his brother "I can't believe you actually said that you trust me. Dougie you've finally realised what an excellent brother you have in me!"

"Stop gloating! You are nowhere near perfect!"

"Not yet but I'm well on the way"! Pacey watched as his brother rolled his eyes. "Are you staying for breakfast?

"If you're offering, yes I will." As Pacey started to stand up Doug put a hand on his arm. "Can I say one thing more?"

"Make it quick I'm starving!"

"I just want to say thank you. I was half expecting you to be glad that you were right all along. You could have said 'I told you so'"

"I know I could but I didn't want to. And I promise never to say it."

* * *

Pacey stood in the kitchen. It had turned out to be quite a morning. He understood Doug's motivation for concealing his sexuality and it would have scared him, coming out in a place like Capeside but all Pacey's instincts told him that this would not stay a secret. Anything that could make Doug open up so completely was way to powerful to remain hidden for long. Pacey just hoped his brother could cope with the fallout. 


	11. Amy

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Doug wandered into the restaurant. He'd been back at work for over a month and things were now settling back into place. It felt good to walk around town in his uniform again.

Pacey saw his brother come in and made his way towards him "Doug. Are you here for lunch again?"

"Not today. I was just passing, thought I'd see how things are going."

"I'm still managing to keep my mouth shut if that's what you mean."

"Things still difficult?"

"I can't talk about it here; I'll fill you in later. Never mind me, how are you coping?"

"Pace you don't have to ask me that every time we meet."

"I worry about you."

Doug smiled. It was still slightly strange to hear Pacey say things like that. "There is no need. I'm fine."

"And Jack?"

"It's all back to normal. I'm grateful just to be his friend."

Pacey was just about to comment when he saw Jack coming towards them. "We were just talking about you!

"Anything good?"

Pacey grinned, ignoring the looks he was getting from Doug. "Not really. Were you looking for me or the Sheriff?"

"I came to see you but Doug being here is a bonus." Jack smiled at both of them.

"That's how I feel about him too." Pacey was teasing and enjoying it.

"Shut up Pacey. Did you want something from my idiot brother Jack?" Doug had glared at Pacey but had just got a smile in response.

"No I just came to say that I just had a call from Grams. Jen had a baby girl at 11.15 this morning."

Pacey reached out to shake Jack's hand. "Congratulations Godfather! How's Jen?"

"Grams said she's a bit groggy. They had to do a caesarean. She did say something a while ago about the baby facing the wrong way"

"When are you going to see them?"

Jack looked at his watch. "In about 10 minutes, that girl has good timing having a baby on the weekend!"

"Does the baby have a name yet?"

"I forgot to ask!" Jack couldn't believe he'd overlooked that vital detail.

"Well just let us know when you find out. And give Jen our love. Pacey reached across to hug Jack congratulating him again.

"I'll see you in a few days." Jack left the restaurant smiling at everyone he passed. He couldn't stop smiling

Pacey turned to Doug. "You're quiet."

"I don't really know Jen all that well. I didn't like to get involved."

"You are involved. You're my brother and you're Jack's friend." Pacey saw Doug's expression change when he mentioned Jack. No matter what his brother said Pacey knew that Doug was struggling with his feelings.

* * *

Jack arrived at the hospital and quickly found somewhere to buy a teddy bear and several very large pink balloons. He put his head around the door and saw that Jen was awake. "Anyone here just had a baby!" 

Jen turned at the sound of his voice and put her finger to her lips. "Shhhh! She's just gone to sleep."

Jack walked quietly over to the crib by the side of Jen's bed "Oh my God she's gorgeous."

"I know. I can't quite believe she's actually here."

Jack placed the bear in the crib and gave Jen the balloons before he hugged her tightly. "You did good."

"I am actually quite proud of myself. Amy is by far the best thing I've ever done in my life."

"Amy?"

"Do you like it?"

Jack ran it through his mind "It's perfect."

"I think so too." Jen looked down at the sleeping baby. She was still holding the balloons. "What am I meant to do with these?" Jack took them from her and tied them to the bed.

"You look pale."

Jen smiled weakly. "It's been a long day. I'm tired. I can hardly keep my eyes open."

"I think that's my cue to leave. I'll see you tomorrow." Jack kissed her on the forehead. She was already asleep.

* * *

"Good morning. Where is my beautiful god- daughter?" 

"She's in the nursery. What have you got there?" Jen gestured towards the items Jack was carrying.

"This is a bottle of the best champagne I could afford to welcome Amy to the world. He raised his other hand. "And this is a present from me." Jack passed a red velvet box to Jen.

"Jack what have you done?" Jen opened the box tentatively. Inside was an oval silver locket. It's beautiful."

"Read the inscription." Jack sat down on the edge of the bed.

Jen turned the locket over "_Amy. You are loved always._"

"Jack. That is perfect. When did you get that done? I only told you her name last night."

"I bought it months ago but I had it engraved this morning."

"And what if she had been a boy?"

Jack grinned "I was just praying that your instincts were right!"

Jen leant forward and kissed Jack gently on the cheek. "Thank you. My daughter is lucky to have you in her life."

"I'm glad I could be here. You look a lot better than you did last night"

"I'm sorry about that Jack. I was exhausted."

"You're excused."

"Thank you. Where's Grams?"

"She stopped outside to talk to the doctor. There are no problems I hope?"

Jen shook her head "No we're fine. How long are you staying in New York?"

"I have to go in a few hours. I've got lessons to prepare for tomorrow morning."

"Can't you do that here? I like having you with us."

"If you can get me paper and a pen, I'll stay until this afternoon but then I really do have to go."

"Deal!"

Jack dropped down into the bedside chair. "I'm such a pushover!"

* * *

It was Sunday evening and Jack was back in Capeside. He'd have liked to have spent more time in New York with Jen but first period Monday morning said different. He knocked on Doug's door and waited for an answer. 

"Jack. Hi."

"Sorry I know it's late but I need someone to show off my god-daughter to. Are you available?"

"How many pictures have you got?"

"Hundred's but I haven't brought them all!"

"Alright you can come in." Jack made his way into the now familiar house. Doug gestured towards one of his chairs and Jack sat down. "Pacey said her name is Amy."

"That's right. I know I'm biased but she's gorgeous. This is the closest I'll ever get to having a child and it's amazing."

Doug envied him. He himself had nieces and nephews but he'd never felt the connection Jack was experiencing. "How's Jen?"

"Tired but happy. She's going to be a brilliant mother."

Doug laughed. "I'm guessing that that smile hasn't left your face since Grams called you."

"Am I going over the top Doug? I know she's not my daughter but I just feel so happy."

"Of course you're not overdoing it. Babies are meant to make you feel like that. They're a blessing."

Jack reached out and briefly squeezed Doug's hand. "Thank you I needed to hear that."

Doug had to fight his instincts not to snatch his hand away. He felt extremely unsettled. He struggled to speak. "Come on then, let's make a start on these photographs."

"You have no idea what you've let yourself in for! I lied. I brought them all!"


	12. The Ice House

Chapter 12

As he turned the corner Pacey saw that Doug was already waiting for him outside the restaurant. He glanced at his watch. He was only five minutes late but Doug wouldn't be happy which, for what Pacey had planned, could mean problems.

Doug spoke first as he saw his brother approaching "Where have you been? I thought we said half past three."

"We did. I just had to fetch something first. Are we ready to go?

"I was ready at half past!" Doug was only half joking, he didn't like to be kept waiting "Where are we going? I don't like it when you get all mysterious."

"Relax. All will be revealed very soon"

"I don't like it when you tell me to relax either, it makes me nervous!"

"Today, my dear brother is about the future of Pacey Witter."

"Now I'm terrified!"

"Quit complaining, let's get going"

Doug pressed the button on his keys to unlock his car. "How come we're taking my car?"

"I've been drinking!"

"At this time of the day? I don't believe how stupid you can be sometimes!"

"That was a joke Doug. My car's getting a service; I can't pick it up till later."

"One day you'll find something you can't make a joke about Pace"

"You mean like when my big brother needs me to help him through a really difficult time in his life. I sure hope I can take him seriously"

The hurt tone of Pacey's voice rendered Doug silent for a second or two. "I'm sorry"

Pacey looked across at his brother as he turned the key to start the engine "I forgive you but don't do it again."

Suitably chastised Doug started the engine.

Two minutes later

"Stop here Doug. This is what we're here to see"

"Are you serious? We could have walked here quicker!

"I wanted to keep the sense of mystery alive"

Doug climbed out of his car and looked around. His eyes fell on a semi derelict building. "That's the Ice House"

"Sure is."

"I don't understand. Is that what we've come to see?"

"Right again"

"That's enough of the intrigue Pacey. What are we doing here?"

Pacey grinned "Let me explain. As you correctly observed this is the Ice House- former Potter family restaurant..."

Doug interrupted "Get to the point!"

"...and it is for sale! Pacey made eye contact with Doug "... and I want to buy it!"

"What!"

"I want to buy the Ice House and open my own restaurant"

"That's what I thought you said." Doug stared directly at his brother "You're serious about this aren't you?"

"Totally. And I think I can make it work Doug, I'm practically running the place I work now anyway. What's the difference?"

"Where do you want me to start Pace? Firstly, where are you going to get the money?"

Pacey knew this was going to be the most difficult part of the afternoon. "That's really why I've brought you here."

"I hope you don't think I'm going to finance this mad scheme!"

"It's not mad and by the time we leave here I'll convince you of that" Pacey hoped that this statement sounded more confident to Doug than it did to him. "I would like you to invest something but the majority will come from the bank, they've agreed to give me a loan."

"How long is it going to take to pay that back?" Doug was surprised how far down the track Pacey had gone with this.

"Until I'm about fifty-five! Which is a very scary thought."

"And yet you still want some of my money?"

"Well the loan will cover the purchase of the building but as you can see it's in need of some remodeling."

"That's one word for it; it looks like it's falling down."

"Don't exaggerate! The main structure of the building is fine but I admit it does need a lot of cosmetic work."

And you can't do anything unless you get some extra money from me."

"Correct. You have all the power here Doug."

Doug leant back against the hood of his car. He couldn't get his mind straight about this. Was it the craziest idea he'd ever heard or could it be the making of his little brother? Eventually he found some words "I can't give you an answer now, this needs thinking about."

"I didn't expect anything immediately, take your time." Pacey reached into his pocket and retrieved some keys "Would you like to take a look around while we're here? Maybe I can make it all a bit clearer."

"Is that why you were late, you had to get those?"

"I left them at home this morning!"

Doug laughed "Great start for a potential business owner, losing your keys!"

"I didn't lose them. I knew exactly where they were!"

"And you want to be in charge of an entire restaurant, I can almost see the chaos!"

"Is that your way of saying no to me?"

"No it's not and neither am I saying yes, don't pressure me Pacey I'll tell you as soon as I've made up my mind" Doug looked seriously at his brother who got the message and just nodded. They picked their way up the overgrown path and went to explore the Ice House.

Forty- five minutes later and the Witter brothers had finished their tour of the very dusty and dirty Ice House. Pacey found a couple of chairs in the bar area and brushed the dust from them. Doug accepted the invitation and sat down. "So Doug what do you think? Be honest, please."

"I'm as surprised as anyone to be saying this, but it's not as bad in here as I imagined. I think it could be brought back to something amazing and you might just be the person to do that."

Pacey almost fell off his chair in shock. "Did you just say what I think you did?

"Yes! Which is why I'm not going to repeat it. Don't get too excited I'll need to see all the details before I hand you any money."

Pacey leant over, tipping his chair onto two legs and hugged his brother tightly. "You won't regret this Doug."

"Make sure I don't." Doug pushed his brother to arms length away "I'm serious Pace, if this is going to come together you need to grow up completely- no more teenage antics."

"I will, I promise. How hard can it be? You managed it!"

Doug began to laugh out loud. "I wish I had some of your courage and confidence, you are fearless!"

"Believe me I'm far from fearless. I have many doubts but some things are just so important that you have to charge ahead and take a chance."

"How do you know when that time is?"

"When you can't live with yourself if you don't at least try. You'll know it when it happens and then you'll find the courage you need."

"If you say so, now let's get out of here I need a drink!"

Pacey looked at his watch "At this time of the day, is that wise? I not sure it's a very grown-up thing to be doing!" "

"Shut up before I change my mind. You do know that I can obstruct your liquor license application don't you?"

"And bring shame upon the honor of Capeside Law Enforcement, you wouldn't dare"

Doug folded his arms across his chest "Try me!"

* * *

Pacey stood silently and looked around the Ice House. He couldn't believe that it was the grand opening tonight, it had only been four months since he'd let Doug in on his plans and now all the paperwork and construction was finished.

"Is it all ready?"

Pacey turned at the sound of Jack's voice behind him. "I think so. What are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd see if there was anything I could help with."

Pacey looked at his watch "Aren't you meant to be meeting Jen?"

"She's running late so I'm meeting her at the B&B, come with me."

"I can't Jack, it's only five hours till we open!"

"Is there anything you can do here?"

"No not really."

"Then an hour or so break will do you good."

Pacey looked around the restaurant "You're probably right. I've been here since 6 o'clock this morning!"

As they walked towards the car Jack inquired as to how Doug was.

"He's fine as far as I know but I've been obsessed with this place recently. Why do you ask?"

"I haven't seen much of him myself. I've invited him out a couple of times, just for a run or to see a movie but he keeps making excuses."

"You don't believe him?"

"I get the feeling that he's trying to avoid me for some reason"

Pacey tried his hardest to look surprised- he'd told Doug Jack would notice that he was keeping his distance. "He's got no reason to do that has he? You two haven't had a falling out."

"Not that I'm aware of. Is he coming tonight?"

"Definitely. I have a 100% guarantee that nothing will stop him!"

It was five minutes to eight and Pacey was nervous. This was finally it, after all the hard work and worry; the Ice House was ready to open again. Pacey felt a light tap upon his shoulder and turned to see that his brother had finally arrived.

"At last. I thought you were going to miss the start."

"Sorry. Is everyone else here?"

"I think so; I've shaken hands with hundreds of people already." As they spoke the photographer arrived and asked him if they were ready to go. "As ready as I'll ever be. Doug stay with me while I do this- it's terrifying!"

"You'll be fine. Just say a few words and then let the drinks flow freely." They embraced for a second and then Doug stood back and watched his brother welcome everybody and wish them all a good evening and as the applause started Doug felt nothing but pride in his baby brother.

"How was that?"

"Perfect."

"I couldn't have done all this without you Doug and in case I get too drunk to say it later, thank you for everything." Pacey raised his glass in salute.

"Ok That's enough. Go and mingle you need all the goodwill you can get." Doug watched as his brother drifted towards the nearest group of local dignitaries and started to charm them in the way only Pacey could.

Doug strolled further into the Ice House and was surprised at just how crowded it was. He looked around and as far as he could see the great and good of Capeside were all in attendance. He spotted Jen's blond hair and made his way towards her and Jack.

"Doug, great to see you again." Jen reached up and kissed him gently on the cheek. "This place is amazing, the boy has done good!"

"I know I can hardly believe it's all come together. How long are you in Capeside for?"

"Only today and tomorrow. I don't like to leave Grams to cope with Amy on her own for too long."

"I'm sorry she's not with you, I've seen some pictures and I was looking forward to meeting her."

"It's easier to travel by myself. Why don't we meet up tomorrow and I'll give you an update. Have you seen the most recent photos?"

Jack spoke for the first time since Doug had joined them. "No, he's been too busy recently."

Doug looked at Jack's face. He was smiling but Doug had sensed some extra meaning in Jack's words. He was confused. "It's been crazy recently, what with this place and work I've barely had time to get home."

"I presumed that was it but I did ask Pacey if you'd been avoiding me."

Doug's defensive walls were now up. "Why would you think that?"

Jack shrugged his shoulders "Oh just a feeling I got but if you say I'm wrong I believe you."

"Not all of us get all the summer free to laze about on the beach Jack." Doug almost spat the words out.

"Good point." Jack turned to Jen and grinned "I guess I take my life for granted sometimes."

Jen had been a spectator to this exchange and stayed silent as Doug made an excuse and left them. Once he was out of earshot she questioned Jack "What was that all about? I feel like I'm missing something here."

"It's nothing. I'm just working through a theory I have."

"Are you planning to let me in on the mystery while I'm here?"

"When I know I'm right I'll tell you everything"

* * *

The empty champagne bottles now littered the tables and the crowd had thinned considerably. Jen and Doug were sat together, Jack was at the bar talking to the barman. He'd been there most of the evening. Jen realized that for the last five minutes or so Doug had barely been paying any attention to her He was staring intently at Jack. She turned in the same direction and watched as the barman reached across and wrote something on the back of Jack's hand.

"Sorry Jen I have to go." Doug quickly rose from his seat and disappeared. Jen, taken by surprise, had no chance to reply. She was brought out of her shocked state by Jack's voice behind her.

"Has Doug gone?"

"Yes, just this minute" She reached for his hand to look at the number written there "I see you've made a new friend?"

"His name's Rick or Nick, I didn't quite catch which. When exactly did Doug go?"

"About the same time you were getting that new tattoo. He was watching very closely."

"I noticed."

What is going on Jack? You look very pleased with yourself."

"I need to go and talk to the Sheriff."

"What! Right now! I've barely seen you tonight."

Jack hugged her and promised that he'd spend all tomorrow with her and then he left.

Jen sat for several minutes trying to organize the evening's events into something that made sense to her but she got nowhere.

"You look miles away." Pacey was standing next to her chair. "Are you all alone?"

"Doug ran off and Jack followed him."

"Why?"

"I have absolutely no idea but I might ask you to escort me home as it seems I've been deserted."

"It would be my pleasure Miss Linley. You can give me your opinion on the new Ice House."

Jen grinned at him "I can do better than that. I can give you Joey Potter's opinion on the Ice House!"

Jack hurried along the street. He presumed that Doug was heading home. Thoughts were rushing around in his head tumbling over each other. Jack hesitated when he reached Doug's house, he took a deep breath to fortify himself and then knocked firmly on the door. He'd guessed correctly, Doug opened the door and was obviously very surprised to see who his visitor was.

"Jack! What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk about why you can't bear to spend any time with me. Can I come in?" Without waiting for an answer Jack walked past him.

Doug stood on the doorstep filled with fear about what was about to happen but knowing that he couldn't run away, not from his own house. He shut the door and tried desperately tried to compose himself.


	13. Hurt

Chapter 13

Doug slammed the front door and marched into the living room. "What the hell do you think you're doing Jack?"

"I've come to see you."

"What can be so important that you can't even wait to be invited in?"

"I wanted to tell you that it's all going to be ok because I know."

Doug realized that Jack was totally oblivious to his annoyance "Are you drunk?"

Jack grinned "Quite possibly but that doesn't matter."

"It seems to have stopped you making any sense- what do you want?"

Jack suddenly felt slightly dizzy "Do you mind if I sit down?" He lowered himself into the nearest chair and tried to regain his train of thought "I came here because I wanted to let you know that I know that you're gay."

"What!"

"Sorry that did sound a bit confusing. I know that you're..."

Doug interrupted him "I heard what you said. Why did you say it? "

"Um.. Because it's true." Jack had been expecting a different reaction. "Is there something wrong Doug?"

"Did Pacey tell you? I'll kill him."

"Pacey! I thought I was the first to know. I worked it out for myself."

"Really!"

"Yes I do have a brain and eyes. I've had plenty of time to think about things while you've been avoiding me and then tonight I was watching you and…"

"You looked fully occupied to me. I'm surprised you found the time!

"There it is again, the green-eyed monster rears its head. I knew I'd made you jealous tonight."

Doug's anger was growing "_Made_ _me jealous_. What does that mean?

"I wasn't going to tell you that bit!"

"Tell me!" Doug was almost shouting at him.

Jack shifted uncomfortably in his chair aware that he'd dug himself into a hole he couldn't get out of. He looked at Doug directly "I was deliberately coming on to that guy tonight because I suspected that you had feelings for me and I wanted to make you jealous."

"Get out!"

Jack started at the ferocity of Doug's words. "Don't do this Doug. I'm sorry I was stupid and thoughtless. Can't we just talk about things?"

"You are the last person I want to talk to right now Jack. Get out!"

Jack realized that he was going to get nowhere at the present time. He stood up and slowly walked away. "I am truly sorry Doug I don't mean to upset you."

Doug didn't respond. He just stood staring out of the window into the dense blackness. He heard the front door shut but still didn't move.

Jack wandered slowly along the street. How could he have been so insensitive? He'd been so obsessed with proving himself right that he'd forgotten that there were human beings involved- people with feelings and emotions that could be hurt.

* * *

"He's gone to New York!"

"Good morning to you too Jack." Jen closed the door of the B&B behind her friend. "Who's gone to New York?"

"Doug. He's gone to visit Gretchen."

"Gretchen? Does she live in New York, I didn't know that. I've never seen her."

"What a surprise! It's such a small place!"

Jen pulled a face in his direction "You can drop the sarcasm Jack. Sit down and tell me what you are talking about."

Jack did as he was told. "I've just spoken to Pacey and apparently Doug left at about six this morning to go and see Gretchen who lives in New York with her boyfriend."

"Why?"

"I don't know. They've never got on that well."

"I meant why has he left Capeside in such a hurry?"

"That would be my fault."

"What have you done?"

"I am so ashamed of myself. How could I have been so stupid?"

"I don't know-you haven't told me yet!"

"Well when I left you last night I went to Doug's and told him that not only did I know he was gay but also that I knew he liked me and I'd purposely tried to make him jealous by flirting with the barman all evening."

"Doug's gay?"

"Yes."

"When did that happen?"

"At the moment of conception I believe!"

"You know that's not what I meant."

"Sorry but that wasn't the main point of the story. I've upset him."

"Ok. Just give me a second to process the fact that Doug Witter is gay and then we can get back to you! I take it he didn't react very well to your revelation."

"He threw me out of the house and now he's run away. What do you think?"

"I warned you about the sarcasm." Jen was trying to work out the right thing to say "I'm sure he'll be back soon and then you can sort things out."

"Maybe." Jack shrugged his shoulders.

"Of course you will. I've forgiven you more times than I can remember. We're still friends."

"It's not that simple."

"I'm obviously missing something. Why are you so worried about this?"

"What if I wanted to be more than friends?" Jack was blushing.

"You and the Sheriff! I didn't see that one coming."

"Neither did I!" Jack held his head in his hands.

Jen put an arm around his shoulder. "You've created a bit of a problem for yourself haven't you?

"What am I going to do Jen? He'll never talk to me again."

"Yes he will. You have to pull yourself together, sort out your own feelings and then when Doug gets back you can talk about it."

"How can you be so calm in a crisis?"

"Practice! I've dealt with quite a few, most of them self-inflicted." Jen grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. "Come and help me cook something for breakfast. I don't suppose you've eaten this morning."

"No. I forgot." Jack kissed her on the cheek "Thank you, what would I do without you."

Jen said nothing but squeezed his hand and led him towards the kitchen.

* * *

Doug pressed his finger firmly against the bell and heard it ring in response somewhere inside the house. The door opened and saw the face of Grams smiling gently at him. "Sheriff Witter. My grand-daughter said you would be visiting us today. Come in."

"Call me Doug, please. Thank you." Doug entered and followed her into the large kitchen where Jen was feeding Amy.

"You have a visitor Jennifer."

"Doug. Good to see you." Jen put down the spoon and reached up to kiss him on the cheek.

"Thank you for inviting me. I've been looking forward to meeting this young lady." He smiled warmly at Amy who banged both hands on the tray of her high chair in response.

"I think that means she wants the rest of her dinner. Excuse me while I finish up here. There's coffee made if you'd like one."

Doug picked up a mug and filled it from the coffee pot. "Do you have any milk and sugar?"

"Of course. I am so sorry to be such a lousy host."

Doug smiled "Why don't I finish feeding Amy and you can make the coffee, milk and one sugar."

"Deal!" They swapped jobs and Jen watched him as he spooned the food into her daughter's open mouth. "You're a natural- can you stay!"

"She's a beautiful little girl Jen. Jack wasn't wrong."

"Talking of Jack..."

The spoon paused briefly on the way to Amy's mouth "I thought that might come up. I presume he told you that we fell out last week."

"Yes. He came to see me the next morning- he thinks you'll never want to speak to him again."

"It's not that serious."

"So you'll forgive him?"

Doug looked over his shoulder to speak to her "Of course I will. We're friends and I don't have that many so I'm not going to throw one away because he said some things I didn't like."

"I told him he was over reacting." Jen paused. "Doug I know that we don't know each other that well but can I ask you something personal, I'm not trying to pry."

"What. Is it?"

"Do you like Jack as more than a friend."

Doug fed Amy with the last spoonful from the dish. He wiped her face clean and lifted her out of the chair. He handed Amy back to her mother and picked up his coffee from the counter. "He told you everything then?"

"He was upset. Do you mind me knowing?"

"No. I know Jack well enough to know that you two come as a package. I would have been more surprised if he hadn't told you and the answer to your question is yes."

"That must be difficult for you."

"It is."

"Is that why you ran away from Capeside?"

"I just needed to escape for a while."

"And now you have to go back."

"Do I?"

"Yes you do and you need to talk to Jack."

"About what?"

"Everything! Just go back Doug and talk to him."

Doug knew that she was right. He had been thinking of nothing but Jack since he'd left Capeside. He nodded to acknowledge that he'd absorbed her advice. Doug looked around the kitchen "Where did your grandmother disappear to."

"She has a sixth sense about when to give people privacy, I haven't inherited it."

"You have your own special qualities Jen Linley."

"Thank you. Now can I take you out to lunch?"

"Good idea- I'm starving and I have got a long journey ahead of me."

"Yes you do."


	14. First Date

Chapter 14

Doug wearily dragged his bags from his car and walked down the path towards his front door. He was just putting the key into the lock when a voice from behind stopped him. "You're back then."

Doug turned to face his visitor." Jack, you've saved me a journey. I was coming to see you later."

"So you want to talk to me now. Shame you couldn't hang around last Saturday."

"Are you angry with me?"

"Yes."

"It was you that started everything with your stupid game playing."

"I was just trying to help."

"You didn't." Doug heard the sound of people talking as they walked past. "I'm not having this discussion out here. Come inside." Doug opened the door and stood aside to let Jack in. "Take a seat. I'm going to put the coffee on."

Jack did as he was told and for several minutes sat on the couch in the living room listening to the noises coming from the kitchen. He could stand it no longer and got up and joined Doug. "Hi. I'm sorry for snapping at you. Can we start again please?"

Doug smiled at him and nodded. "What was that all about just now?"

"I've just got frustrated these past few days. I know I was in the wrong and I tried to apologise the next morning but you decided to run away to Gretchen's. Why couldn't you just stay and talk to me?"

"I panicked. I had this mad idea that if you'd figured things out then the whole of Capeside would soon follow."

"For a start no-one in this town is as smart as me and secondly they're all too busy with their own problems to notice us falling out."

"Once I'd calmed down I realised that." Doug grinned at him. "I mean about nobody noticing. Your first point is highly debatable!"

"Why didn't you come home then?"

"I needed some space Jack. I had to get things straight in my head; I've been very confused over the last few months."

Jack took the cup of coffee that Doug handed him and they sat down at the kitchen table. "Are you still confused?"

"No. I've realised that I just have to deal with my feelings towards you and accept that nothing will come of them."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes of course I am. I know that we're just friends Jack. Don't worry I'm not going to suddenly make a move on you!"

"I'm sorry to hear that. I was quite looking forward to it!"

Doug looked at him in shock. "You don't mean that. Stop teasing me, it's not funny."

"I'm deadly serious; I wouldn't make a joke about something like this. Did it ever occur to you to ask if just friends was all I wanted?"

"No why would I? Why would you want to get involved with someone like me? I can't give you what you want Jack."

Jack put his coffee down on the table." You're making a lot of decisions on my behalf. How do you know what I want?"

"I don't but I know what I can't give you. I can't be an openly gay Sheriff."

"I'm not asking you to be that."

"One day you will."

"That's a bridge we can cross in the future. All I want from you right now is to agree to come on one date with me. Will you do that?"

Doug nodded.

"Let me hear you say it out loud."

Doug looked directly at him. "Yes Jack. I will go on a date with you."

* * *

Three hours later and Jack was just putting the finishing touches the table. He straightened a fork and stood back to assess the overall appearance. It had been the right decision to dispense with the candles; they would have been too much. Jack was jolted from his reverie by a ringing doorbell. He pressed the buzzer to let Doug in. He arrived with a bottle of wine in each hand. "I didn't know whether to bring red or white."

"I'm not bothered what colour it is to be honest. How are you?"

"Terrified."

"Don't be. We've had dinner together more times than I can remember."

"It wasn't quite like this."

"You always supply the wine."

"That's because you don't know a Chardonnay from a Claret. If I didn't remind you you'd put the red in the fridge to chill every time!"

"Now you sound more like the Doug Witter I know. Sit down and I'll get you a beer." Jack opened two bottles and took them into the living room. He sat down in the chair opposite Doug. "Dinner won't be long. How was New York, I forgot to ask earlier."

"Same as ever, crowded and noisy."

"You don't sound like you enjoyed it much."

"I didn't. I'm not a big city guy. I prefer it here."

"I'm beginning to agree with you. I never thought I'd choose Capeside over New York or Boston but it has its attractions." Jack smiled at him warmly.

Doug blushed slightly and tried to change the subject. "I went to see Jen and Amy while I was away."

"Did you? I hope she didn't give you too much of a lecture. I may not have painted you in the best light; she was there when I was most annoyed with you."

"No, she was great. Amy is just adorable."

"I know. I just wish I could spend more time with her. Maybe I could persuade them to move back here."

"I don't like your chances!"

Jack jumped up at the sound of a timer going off in the kitchen. "Hope you're hungry, I've made plenty."

"I'm starving. I forgot to eat any lunch today." Doug made his way to the table and they both sat down to eat.

"Are you sure you don't want any more?"

Doug held his hands up." No, I couldn't eat another mouthful even though it was delicious. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Shall we retire to the comfortable chairs to finish the wine?"

"Good idea." Doug followed as Jack went and sat down on the large couch. He hesitated unsure where to sit. Jack reached up, grabbed his hand and pulled him down beside him. "Careful! I'll spill my drink."

"Don't worry. It's only white wine, it'll clean up."

"That's not what I meant. This was expensive stuff. I don't want to waste any!"

Jack laughed loudly. "You do like your drink considering you are a respected member of the law enforcement community."

"How else do you think I cope with being a member of the Witter family? They all look a lot saner through the veil of alcoholic beverage."

"I am discovering a whole new side to you tonight."

"Does it put you off?"

"Not one bit!" Jack tried to get up. "I think I have some ice cream somewhere. Would you like some?"

"No, not really."

"Good because I can't get up. I may have had too much to drink Officer Witter."

"And why would that be Mr McPhee?"

"I think I was a bit nervous about my date tonight. I really like him and I'm not sure if he realises that."

Doug said nothing in response to Jack's statement instead he leaned across and kissed him gently on the lips.

"Wow you're full of surprises. Does that mean our date is going well?"

"No I kiss every guy that cooks me dinner!"

"Ok, stupid question. Why don't I stop talking and you can thank the chef again."

* * *

Doug looked at his watch. It was nearly midnight. "I have to go Jack. I'm on the early shift and a hangover is not a good look."

"Ok. Can you meet me for lunch at the Ice House tomorrow?"

"Is that a good idea?"

"Yes. We're still friends aren't we? We can test out just how observant Pacey is."

Doug grinned at the thought of winding up his brother. "I'll see you there at one."

Jack followed him to the door. "Do I get a goodbye kiss?"

"No. I thought we'd just shake hands!"

"I hope you're joking or this might be our first and last date."

"Of course I am. Come here you fool." Doug pulled Jack towards him and they kissed passionately. "Will that keep you happy?"

"Only until the next time. Get out of here; you need all the beauty sleep you can get!"

"You're no oil painting yourself! Goodnight Jack." Doug closed the door quickly behind him before Jack could reply. He was glad he'd decided to walk. The crisp night air would clear his head and calm him down enough to sleep. It had been an amazing day and Doug knew that his life would never be the same. It might be good or it might be a disaster but it would never be the same.


	15. Approval

Chapter 15

Pacey looked around the kitchen of his restaurant. It had been a week since the opening night and right now everything seemed to be running smoothly. Everyone knew their job and he surmised that the best place he could be was front of house. He emerged from the kitchen and saw Jack sitting at the bar. As Pacey made his way towards him he noticed that Jack's gaze was fixed on something. He followed his friend's line of sight and realised that he was looking at Doug who was standing in the entrance of the Ice House talking to someone. Pacey stopped and just stood watching for a minute or two and he could have sworn that he saw his brother look over to Jack and smile. Pacey began moving again and arrived at where Jack was stationed. "Hi, are you here for lunch?"

Jack turned quickly. "I didn't see you there. Yes I am here to be fed."

"I'll get you a drink to start with. Beer?"

Jack shook his head. "No thanks. Make it an orange juice I had a heavy night last night."

Pacey reached behind him to get a glass "I see my brother is back. Have you two sorted things out?"

Jack was trying to work out his response to this question when Doug arrived. "Pacey was just asking if we'd sorted things out."

Doug looked at his brother. "We had a chat last night. I think things were resolved in a satisfactory manner." He turned and grinned at Jack. "Were you happy with how we left things?"

"I think we certainly made progress." Jack was enjoying the playful banter.

"So you talked to Jack but you couldn't manage to tell me that you were home."

"I am so sorry about that Pacey but you know what it's like sometimes there just aren't enough hours in the day! As you can see I'm fine and Gretchen sends her love. What's the special today? I'm starving!"

"Ok. Stop! Who are you and what have you done with my uptight and slightly melancholy brother?"

Doug was having to try very hard to suppress a smile. "I don't understand. Do I seem ok to you Jack?"

"Let me take a look." Jack looked him up and down in an exaggerated fashion. "I see absolutely nothing wrong with you at all."

Pacey let out a frustrated sigh "Will you two just stop whatever game it is that you're playing and tell me what's going on before I strangle both of you."

Jack grinned at Doug who sat down on an adjacent bar stool. "I think we'd better put him out of his misery." Doug nodded so Jack carried on speaking. "The reason that Doug didn't call you is that, as he said, we had a talk and last night we were on a date."

"Who with?"

"With each other, you idiot!"

"This is a joke right?"

Doug looked at him seriously. "No, it's not. Jack and I are together."

"I am….I don't know what I am." Pacey looked at Doug and realised he was desperate for approval. "I'm happy for you. Does anyone else know?"

Jack looked at Doug. "I'll ring Jen later and tell he if that's ok?"

"I have no problem with Jen knowing but that's it. I don't want you to mention this to anyone Pacey, is that clear?"

"Whatever you want Doug. I won't say a word, I promise."

"Thank you." Doug smiled at him in relief and gratitude. "Now I wasn't kidding about being starving. Can we get some food here please?"

"I'll get you a menu." Pacey walked away. When he was out of sight he turned and looked back at Doug and Jack sitting talking. He had many worries about the future for them but his brother looked extremely happy and right now that was all that was important to Pacey.


	16. Reunion

Chapter 16

Doug rubbed his damp hair with a towel as he walked slowly towards the front door.

"Hi honey! Did you miss me?" Jack was standing outside with a grin spread across his face.

"Did you just call me honey?"

Jack nodded. "I just thought I'd try it out."

"I don't like it."

"Ok. Now we've got that straight can I come in?"

Doug stood aside and let Jack step inside the house. He shut the door and turned back to face his visitor and was immediately greeted by Jack kissing him passionately. It was at least a minute before Doug pulled away breathlessly. "I thought you were coming back tomorrow?"

"That was the plan but Andie got called in to the hospital cover for someone so I thought I'd drive back tonight and surprise you."

"I'm very pleased that you did and, in answer to your question, of course I missed you. How was Boston?"

"Cold and crowded but that's not surprising considering it's Thanksgiving."

Doug led the way into the living room and they sat down on the couch. "How were your parents?"

"Mom's doing much better in her new place. She was able to come out to dinner with us. I don't remember the last time we were all together like that."

"That's great. I wish I'd spent the day with your family instead of mine!"

"How bad was it?"

"Oh I've experienced much worse but I don't think I could honestly say that I enjoyed myself."

Jack laughed. "Never mind there's always Christmas to look forward to!"

"Don't say that! Why do they have to put two holidays so close to each other?"

"Who shall we blame? The Founding Fathers or Jesus!"

"I'm not going down that road!" Doug kissed Jack gently on the lips. "It is so good to have you back. Did you tell your family about me?"

"I might have mentioned that I had a gorgeous new boyfriend. They were very pleased about that because apparently it's about time I considered settling down!"

"And what did they say when they found out it was me?"

"I think you'd call it shock. I managed to render my sister speechless which, as you know, is a great achievement."

"Jack be serious. Were they ok with it?"

"It wouldn't have made any difference to me if they weren't happy but yes you were granted the McPhee family seal of approval."

Doug sighed with relief. "I'm glad. I wouldn't want you to fall out with your family over me."

"Like I said, it wouldn't have changed the way I feel about you. I know that you're worth it. " Jack smiled as he saw Doug was blushing. "Am I embarrassing you?"

"I've never had anyone say anything like that to me."

Jack stroked his cheek and then kissed him tenderly and slowly. "Get used to it because I'm not going away anytime soon."

* * *

An hour passed and Jack was just finishing the coffee Doug had made for him. He looked at his watch and saw it was nearly midnight. "I shouldn't be drinking this so late. I won't be able to sleep."

"Are you going home?" Doug's words were laden with disappointment

"I thought you were at work early tomorrow. Don't you need to get to bed?"

"I don't start until midday but going to bed does sound a good idea."

"Then I'd better go hadn't I!"

"You can stay if you like."

"But you said you're going to bed." Jack was beginning to get confused and had the feeling he was missing something about this whole conversation. "What is going on here? Why have you got that strange look on your face?

"I don't have a strange look do I?"

"Yes you do. Do you want me to stay or do you want to go to bed?"

Doug smiled at him "There is a way that we can do both."

Suddenly Jack realised what was going on. "Well I suppose that I could sleep in your spare room or maybe on this couch. Is that what you had in mind?"

Doug shook his head.

"Then that must mean that you are asking me to spend the night with you."

"Yes I am." Doug's voice was almost a whisper.

Jack stood up and held out his hand towards Doug. He pulled him up and led him silently towards the bedroom.

* * *

The morning sun, low in the sky, shone brightly into the bedroom and woke Jack up. He reached across to the bedside table and found his watch. It was just past seven. He looked down at the sleeping man beside him and felt nothing but happiness. Jack pulled the bedclothes up around his shoulders and went back to sleep. It was another hour before Doug woke for the first time, he could hear Jack breathing quietly as he slept. He carefully climbed out of bed and went into the kitchen. Jack, disturbed by the movement, had opened his eyes just as Doug left the room. He lay there for ten minutes until the door opened again and Doug came back with two cups of coffee. He put them down and jumped back into the warm bed.

"It's freezing out there today. Are you ok Jack? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I wasn't sure if you would be ok with everything this morning."

"Were you worried that I was going to make a quick getaway."

"It did cross my mind."

"But this is my house Jack, where exactly would I have gone!"

"I didn't think of that! Are you really ok though?"

"I am fine. I have no regrets about last night. It was perfect."

"That's quite a compliment. Thank you."

"I don't have anything to compare it with of course so I wouldn't get too smug if I were you!"

Jack hit him on the arm. "Build me up and then knock me down again."

Doug grinned at him. "I'm kidding."

"Good."

Jack wrapped Doug's arm around behind his shoulders and laid his head on the older man's chest. He could feel each breath.

"I'm sorry Jack."

"What on earth for? You've done nothing wrong."

"I'm sorry that when we step the other side of my front door I will go back to being that scared paranoid man that drives you crazy."

"You don't drive me crazy and I do understand why you behave like that. It will all change one day and until then we'll just try to stay this side of the door as long as we can. How does that sound?"

Doug didn't answer him verbally instead he leant forward and kissed him and shut out the rest of the world.


End file.
